If onli tings aren't that complicated

Byex....

2005-07-19T21:57:00.000+08:00

My last entry....

Jux wanna say a big thank you to everyone who have supported me one way or another... who have stood by me all this while... esp after i got into the accident... sorry i never say abt my new blog here....

Sometimes life is really unpredictable... u never know what may happen next... just like me chancing upon tis old blog of mine by chance.. haha... mayb ur dun believe it, but oh well...

Anyway.. i have tot alot these few days....

Wad m i living for...? i hab asked myself these qns like.. a million times... when tings are not going ur way... when tings get realli sucky...

But take a step back n tink... wad are the tings that make u feel like u are not rotting ur life away? For mine...it has to be the lil lil tings i m learning each day.. de dreams i have... de goals i aim to reach....

I noe that tis may sound unlike me... haha.. i rearely analyse tings on my blog.. but after lookin thru my past entries... i hab 2 admit... my tinkin is quite different now... de way i view life.... de way i c life... hmmm..

life really is fraile isnt it...? U are healthy n fine 2dae... but tml... u find out u are diagnosed with cancer, or some fatal diseases.... de world jux came falling dwn... regrets will sink in... the frustration tots will make u feel depressed.... de selfish tots... n worse still... de possibility that u may not live to c tml.....

So y dun we grab the time we have now? the life that is embracing us... de friends who are with us each n everyday.. ur family.... de person u wanna express ur fondness to...

i sorta understand that life is ShORT....

i may c ya 2dae... but hu noes abt tml?

i m not tryin to be pessimistic... but sometimes i hab to tink abt these tings so as to understand life better... n tink more maturely.... YupX...

So.. its time i moved on.... n leave this sad n full of memories' blog...

Bye Bye bloggie....

*If things were better left unsaid, then i think its better of this way....*

I wish.. i wish...

2005-06-09T23:02:00.000+08:00

t i r e d...

wished 4 a hot milo...

wished for my stomach 2 stop growling.. haha

wish tat my parents come home... not so tired...

wish tat i will stand strong

wish tat my touch rug skills wil improve

wish tat nothin is going thru my mind

wish tat somehow, tings are gonna b alrite

wish... wish...

i can get on wib life

jux like de way it is...

before i met him

before anything of these happened

before....

before...

wad ar...?

aiya... forgot wad i wanna type.. realli tired. dun wanna type le.

Budbyex... me go catch beauty sleep...

Wishing... everything is back to wad it should be like...

Simple. Nice.

Let it go...

2005-06-08T21:24:00.000+08:00

So sad... cant get de bag i wanted...

Haish... wad to do..?

Dunno y...

Feel so sick..

Argh...

I wan the bag!!

Oh well... guess sometimes...

u gotta let go of some things..

When wil i learn tat...?

never mind...

***

As i sat on de train...
there was this pain..
It started from de head..
I would rather be dead..

From the age of Thirteen..
i realised something
i m loses tings..
Without realising...

From something as little
Like a ring..
To something so big..
Like a diary..

I admit sometimes...
I take things as it is
Never treasuring
Until the lost became a reality

After the lost of the gummy bear
i began to despair
So many things lost
Will i lose any again?

"Dun worry... whatever happen...
U wun lose me...
I promise..."
another sealed envelope.. opened.

I have lost something
Which dawed on me
Right when i was staring
At the gummy.

I finally found it
the bear i lost long ago
On someone else's bag
hanging.. from a tag

there was the name
i hab wrote
On the tag
Hanging from the bear..

It came in a pair..
One blue.. one pink
Both are smiling...
So happily when we first got it.

Heart raced..
palm sweat..
Should i get it back...?
or should i leave it like that..?

Confusions set in...
Started coughing...
Until i cant breathe...
Like there's something blocking me..

Memories poured in...
Hey... Don't worry..
I Did not feel anything..
Just.. reluctance.. only..

Eventually...
I decided...
Althou its heartwrenching...
And heartbreaking...

Once things are said...
u cant take it back...
No matter how painful..
u jux hab to go through...

Since it hab found a new owner..
Who doesnt look like me..
Always losing things...
So.. y should it suffer with me?

Its hard...
No matter what...
Its lost...
Forever..

And so.. i decided...
To let it be happy
N end its misery..
Just... let go.

A day where i relaxed...

2005-06-07T20:28:00.000+08:00

2dae lessons ended at 12.. den on meet up wib Reina & mj.. so glad i went out wib dem wor... cos long time no c dem le!! missed dem so much....! haha..

Den on de way 2 meet dem at Dover MRT... saw Farid... den toked 2 him abit.. wa lao eh... knew sometin which made me damn pissed off... lucky ar... he neber did tings tat wil make me hate him sia.. haha! he told me cos he noe we good frenx ma.. wa lao eh. lucky he neber forget tat ar... n to tat fucker ar... Fuck u la asshole... to tink tat u wil do such tings... my god. u realli make me feel so disgusted wib u. FUCK OFF wib my life!

Ok.. dun care abt such disgusting pple. i m in a good mood... okok.. back to story..

Den we watched My bf is type-B... wahahaha... damn kuku show sia... so farni n yet... so sweet.. .lub it to bits... hehex... peeps... go watch la. its worth de 7 bucks. woohoo! hehex..

Den we went back home... cos all eating at home... den me & reina toked along de way back.. cos Mj takin de other way..den we eben sat at Jurong East platform there n tok sia... n we toked abt 1 hr w/o realising it! hahha.. toked abt life in sch... touch rugby... friendships... haha.. realli lub tokin to her... haha..

ah... miss touch rugby.... i pon de trng 2dae... den wonder how it goes... haix...! oh well... den de shoes is a big headache sia...

tokin 2 my Stinky now.... so poor ting sia, her vooice damn sexy sia..! haha... den ar.. me 2dae wake up xtra early 2 make honey drink 4 her.. hehe..

looks like my life's gettin back on track.... hehex...

Haha...

2005-06-06T17:39:00.000+08:00

Do u tink i care..? tat was owax wad stinky says.. but deep dwn.. i noe she care alot 4 me la...

Niewayx.. after yesterday nite... me tot alot...

Life is like a chocolate.. sometimes its bitter... but after tasting it.. u realise de sweetness in it...

Lesson learnt: live life to the fullest..!

no more bad ger le... no one to depend on le.. n lastly... no more negativity le...!

I ans 4 my own actions... yea.. So.. i hab 2 b responsible 4 me!

A guardian angel is hovering arnd... but tink abt it... how long is it gonna last??

2dae... feel like i m starting life anew... woke up early... reached there quite early... hehex.. record breaking wor.

If onli.. there's someting like a eraser in my head... i felt somewhat.. stupid 4 tinking of going drinking...

Mayb its de stubbornness in me barx... i kip believing tat.... de alcohol will like.. make my troubles go away... make me stronger...

But i was wrong... totalli n seriously wrong... it will make me feel worse. haix..

looking forward 2 Thurs de training..! hehex... miss de rugby ball so much....!!! yea.. i'm crazy abt touch rugby now...

Yesterday... xav asked me a qn which realli made my mood to sink 2 de lowest... dun wanna tok abt it le la..

ok... bad tings n tots thrown in2 de trash can... good tings kept..

still cant believe i actually saw jamie yeo in person!!!!!!!!!! argh!! missed de chance 2 take pic pic wib her!!!

Neber mind la... sandy happi can le.. rite?

*Anywayx. thx 4 de pep talk... u were de last person i wld hab expected to tok me arnd.. realli. althou i still dunno y u ar still reading my blog... but nonetheless.. i realli appreciate de help. thx.

SEnsible sandy...?

2005-06-05T22:11:00.000+08:00

Haha... tats wad birdy kip saying 2dae when i was "window-shopping"... haha... cos i know my spendin power has dissipitated...

Hmm... well.. bought a belt... N spent largely on food...

Den.. played pool after Amos sang finished...

Proud of myself... cos cut alot of angles... at 1st no confidence de... den.. hehe.. got sense of achievement..

Feel like drinking again.. den.. asked daddy can drink anot.. cos he bought a dozen of beer...

Daddy abit shocked... den laughed...

Hmmm... y i suddenli like... learning bad tings lidat leix... when weiming cut in2 our grp... i jux scolded j* bai... den when de balls din go in... i jux scold f**k... den tat time still askde lydia bring me go clubbing...

Argh... i m giving pple de impression tat i m turning bad... i sneaked out de other nite... n walked arnd under my block.... played in de playground.... feel de night breeze.... it feel realli gr8..

Tat time when i was walkin home frm sch... i suddenli feel ike goin 2 de arcade... i din like arcade in de past... but it seems like arcade is my frustration venting place now... there was once... an ah beng asked me how old im... den i scold fuck off...

He luffed n scolded vularities at me.. den tis guy.. playin beside me... dunno which gang he came frm la... helped me lor...

Haix... den thank him n quickly ran off.. was so pissed off n tired...

Bird... u still tink i sensible? i m playin wib my life... goddammit...

i m sorry i neber tell u tis 2dae.. i din wan u to worry... arcade was de place we hab fun.. a place... where we dun hab 2 tink too much... sorry...

Someone... pls wake me up...

*Thx 4 de encouragement... i nid 2 get tis out myself, i noe.. but somehow.. someting which i duno wad.. jux made me fall deeper....

Shitty life.

2005-06-04T23:26:00.000+08:00

Suddenli... my life is full of shit...

i hab to reach home early. to look after my younger bro. tats still alrite, cos i miss my mom's cookings.

But imagine... tired n weary from a day of lessons... u come home... of nobody. its definitely my 1st...

Both my mom & dad are working now... dad has tis new canteen at Tuas, which is damn freaking busi.. n suddenli... there's no more home cooked food. no more "Sandy! Go tidy ur room!"...

The potted plants are dying... n so is my heart...

i noe i hab to b strong. 4 myself, for my family. but whenever i tink abt de nearing to zero amt in de bank account... tears jux made its way dwn my cheeks...

Imagine... coming home 1 day... n find tat ur family members are all shagged. y? cos dey went to help out at ur dad's workplace. except u. n u hab been playin touch rugby. having fun. n yet, dey are slogging their hearts out.

my younger bro lay motionless on de sofa after he went to help out, my mom slept at 9+, which was so unusual cos she usually sleep at arnd 11+... my elder bro din use de internet... n when ur dad pat on ur shoulders n say, Ar u tired frm a day of lessons..? n its wib tis care in his tired eyes...

i can tell u... i felt realli guilty. i noe i can do nuts cos i m de onli one schooling... but i feel like... i m such a failure..

Eben my lazy elder bro is startin to help out wib household chores like folding of clothes... whereas i m still slacking in my room.. sleeping...

Wad de hell is wrong wib me..?

haix....

N i carn get de SB scholarship.

Life suddenli... sux.

Tis is the story of da ger...

2005-06-03T22:11:00.000+08:00

Well... tis story strikes me when i was on de train.. hahah... at 1st it was a song... but oh well... guess my "creativity" sorta goes bonkers 2dae... Well.. Anywayx...

Actually... i intended not to blog anymore... But to jux disappear jux lidat... i tink its not beri responsible, rite? N i m a responsible person... haha... okok... Shahida.. dun gib me tat -_-" face ok...

Well... for starters... i m realli loving my classmates now... it seems like everyone has their different personality n i realli respect tat N somehow... somewhat... i tink everyone is realli cool... Yupx, including u, Shahida. hahaha.. dunno y kip shooting tis poor ger leix.. mayb cos she realli like giving me de Duh~! face... wahaha. okok.. solli..

Hmm... hope tat we can be more united.. like.. .go everywhere in a whole grp... N not like... one grp one grp... like i tend to hang n chill out wib my boos... Shahida, Eileen, Melissa, Lydia, Felicia, Fauzia & Dawn. ya..

N yesterday... Touch rugby practise started. No, i shld say, for freshees to join in la. N there were only 2. haha.. den de other ger is called Joanna. N she left early. so me played de actual 6 on 6 wib de seniors. Boy, did i enjoy myself N hab truck loads of fun man. hahha..

Yea.. its pretty cool to be in touch wib de rugby once again. missed de days of playin wib my rogues, Reina & Mj. Oh man! hOpe to go out wib dem sooN!!! yea..

N during my training.. saw two friends.. 1st one was Kiong, haha.. de cutie Shahida said. he was my pj fren. N he shouted my Name!was quite embarrassed la. cos his frends were wib him. den de 2nd was Adrian. haha. not daddy la. is a fren i knew in my ex-workplace. ya. n he is like.. 25 n studying in SP. hahha... okok. mux not be so bad... kekekx...

After de training ended, went home alone n i was realli hungry. so i went 2 More than words n bought 1 string of MegaBoulders n jux chewed on it. ya. that's my dinner. cool rite..? keke.

N i ate pizza 2dae. hahha.

Lets c.. wad else did i do 2dae. hmm.. well.. nth interesting. if u consider walking to de convention centre wif de intention of watching de sucker in de ice cream vending machine sucking de ice cream out of de ice cream machine because there were no more ice cream in SB.. well.. haha.. den so be it la. haha... for more information... read de next paragraph.

Well.. as i was saying... de ice cream vending machine in SB could not produce any more ice cream n curiosity pricked us n de 4 of us, Lydia, Melissa, Shahida & me, went all de way to EEE block jux to look at how de ice cream got dispensed.

Then. we get our ice cream n de process was actualy... not wad we expected n not as amazing as wad Melissa made it out to be la. So. me saw tis sandwich machine beside de ice cream vending machine n i was like.. Oh cool, tis machine actually can dispense sandwiches!! So.. de min amt was 2 bucks n de highest was like.. 2.50.

Ok... so me put 2 bucks inside. N it said. Product finished. So. we "borrowed" 50 cents frm a total stranger, hu was a guy in red. N he said tat it was like a treat.haha. so. in we put. N de sign comes again. Product finished. ohmygawd.

Then we tried frantically to get de 2.50 back. but it was useless la. den lydia called. n dey concluded wib gettin pple dwn in late afternoon or tml mornin. N call her back to pay her back de refund.

Well.. if dey din, den i guess i will hab 2 calld e press. haha! hu ask dem to trifle wib DMC students. haha.

Ok. shall sign off le. take care over de weekend ok? c ya soon! Ciao! oh ya. lookin forward to de tan i m so gonna get tml. hehehex...

*waiting is a torture. but for u, i m willing to. will be behind u owax.

Y is my life suddenli so sad?

2005-05-31T15:52:00.000+08:00

Good question, Sandy. haha.

i m sick.tired.hungry. yupx. too lazy to cook or put tings in my mouth n de tot of chewing jux put me off totally.

haix... no one at home except my bro hu coop in his room all day doin god knows what.

no nagging at me to get some food. or wadever. so.. i basically jux wanna slp, slp, n slp.

haix... pathetic life.. n i m running a fever. 37.5 degrees celcius. which i jux realised. ohmygawd.

wad to do.. jux slp lor. hope tat i will feel better when i wakes up. haix...

*The tot of no more dada made my heart sink to de bottom of de ocean.

Thank u Stinky...

2005-05-30T21:55:00.000+08:00

as de title suggests... i m gonna dedicate tis entry to mY beloVed stinKy...

Realli realli... love de tings u made 4 me orh...

The cookie in de cake box, de cheese cake wib de tasty & oh-so-nice crust at de bottom~, de bouquet of roses... yes pple... u ar not seeing tings... I actualli carried a bouquet of roses around campus 2dae....

N yes.. there are stares... but i m damn proud of it. cos... its from a person dear to me... haha... realli lub it so muCh... n de sweeet poem on de box... lub it!

N de testy cookie... de cookie itself is not Too sWeet... its jux rite... N de wordings *HAPPY BIRTHDAY SANDY WINKY*!! oh my god... N my dear fren actualli baKed 8 times...! yes... 8 times!!! n so sorry eh... caused ur hands 2 get burned in de process!! =(!!

Well... 2dae saw so mani Kranjians... hahax... dat Farid ar.. .damn farni lor... everytime saw me ar.. he will start tis *speech* lor... den dunno y... i jux smile, say bye N walk away.... hmmm...

Saw tis person i dun wanna c.... realli hate de tot of being in de same SCH wib him... i mean... oh well.. Wadever~ n sad ting... i neber c de person i wanna c all day... haish...

When i woke up... i was tinkin... haix... y bother switchin on my hp neh.. its not like.. .there will b any msg waitin 4 me 2 read... haix... den.. saw tis msg tat realli make me feel like... de waitin is actualli not in vain... but... issit actualli?? haix... den kinda feel down after tat...

2dae on de MRT to woodlands... recalled back loads of tings... like de times after work.. we will meet halfway betwn woodlands & bugis.. dat time when i cried in his arms after tat f**ker winnie gave me a lecture... its realli comforting to know tat some1 is owax there when u are down... isnt it?

But..guess 4 de time being.. i m on my own... yeap. i will take care of myself de... sandy can do it de..

N thx daddy... realli make me feel much better... believe in de belifs....

Tml endin sch at 12.... hahaha... den gonna head down to NYP 2 find my kakak... hahx.. mayb go find joan oso..? hehex...

*I wan de missing part of my life back. Badly.

bUrfdaE bOo!

2005-05-28T23:30:00.000+08:00

Yea!! i received 17 burfdae smses!!!!!!!!!! hahha.... was counting all day long... N de last two comin frm Sharon & bao bAo... ehehx.. Thx!!!

2dae went 2 coffee bean... meet up wib couzzie.. long time no c her le..

Den.. told her abt wad happened... cos she asked how m i le... den pour out everitin lor..

Well.. feel much better after hearing her advice... ya...

1 life.. live it well...

Oh ya.. .Thx to everyone hu sent me de burfdae smses wor... hehex.. .1st time receiving 17 sia... ehehx.. .tis yr shall make more friends.... kekekx.. jokin la...

Well... sometimes... u jux gotta grow up N face reality... found tat... making 1 more fren.. is owax better dan 1 more enemy... after de pains N tears... guess... tinking will b straightened out eventually... heehx...

Mom told me sth 2dae in Chi ... After u fall... Stand up, brush your backside N its sunshine again...

Cant wait 4 sch to start!!!

** Please be strong

We felt so cheated
We felt like we're (all) ditched
At the same time
At the worst time

No one understand
No one took his stand
Till she asked him
What happen to him

Now she gives up
Now she wakes up
Day by day
Without him

We want to help
Yet we can't help
Please be strong
And hang on

We will be there
When you need us
We will be there
When you call for us

We love you dear
Please have no fear **

copyrighted frm Bird's blog... hehex...

Well... i hab waken up... no more dreams...

Sandy is growing up, hopefulli not in terms of size... hhaha... rather in terms of tinking...

N knowing she hab a gr8 bunch of supporters... she wil definitely stand up after tis painful fall...

Happi burfdae to me!!

yEa!!!

17 yr old ger...

2005-05-28T00:40:00.000+08:00

tis yr.. i din get my bdae present tat i wanted so much... so badly.... i wld gib anythin i could... 2 hab it... which is 2 get him back....

Yesterday... or rather... de day b4.. i wrote a card.... did a jigsaw puzzle in 1 hr.... n gave him.. together wib de diary i wrote abt me & him.... hoping... he wld b touched... n we will b 2geder once agn....

N once again... silly me waited for him until he ended work...

Cried once... haix... me realli feel so nervous when i goin to c him...... its worse than goin for an exam man...

Den.. he walked me home again.... n told me de probs he faced...

i dun realli wish 2 say dem here... cos its his personal tings... but these probs... realli stand in our way... n sadly... de ending... is still a break... haish...

2dae went 2 watch madagascar... n althou i forced myself 2 turn away... but whenever i c couples... my heart realli stopped for several seconds... haix..

Its a fun movie... touching n farni...hab a good laugh wor..

N went 2 Party world... den.. suddenli feel like goin clubbing... den remembered him sayin b4... tat its not safe... so.. hack de idea in de end...

sang quite alot... haha... den ate supper until 11+... at 1st... de tot of askin him2 send me home came 2 me...

but den... tink abt it... dun wan la.. he so tired le.. later he miss de train again... jialat ar.. haha...

N i waited 4 a msg from him... a bdae wish i oso happi... but there's none... haix.... realli feel so sad... guess he's realli busi barx... ya... haix...

But anywayx... thx all de peeps hu msg me N wished me happi burfdae wor.. like... StinKy, pinky, birdy, sHan sHan, xue ting... ya... thx!

ken... i jux wanna tel u... No matter wad it takes... i m willing 2 wait... til de day we are back together again... Unless there realli is no more feeling... otherwise... i m gonna wait... how long it doesnt matter... it can be one month, two months, one year, 3 years.... bcos... no other guy... can make me feel de way i feel abt u... realli missed u muchx... haix... but i noe... we can onli b frenx 4 now.. n i respect ur decision.. n dun worry... i wil not create any more probs 4 u le... i guess de onli ting i can help u now... is to silently wei ni jia you... dun gib up... when there's a will, there's a way.. hang on there.... i noe de feeling is realli terrible rite now... but all i ask 4 u... is 2 realli take care of urself... whenever u need some1 to tok 2.. i m owax available.. 4 u... remember tat...

*Sometimes... fate can be realli cruel.. it bring two pple together.. n yet... it can oso seperate them.... leaving scars n tears....

Single once again...

2005-05-24T22:05:00.000+08:00

11.03.05... the start... and 23.05.05... the end...

i still cant believe we hab ended... i still cant believe.... feelings will fade in jux 1 week...

de words u said last nite... are so cold...

Do u... for eben 1 sec... tink abt my feelings? after all the times when u asked me 2 tink abt u? tis time round...?

yes i cried... but so wad? did u eben care?

after all tat we've been thru...? de times u said... u are mine forever... de times u oso said... u are a part of me now...?

In jux 1 week... 1 week...

Jux when i hab changed n start 2 tink abt u... jux when... i hab giben my heart 2 u.... u break my heart to a billion pieces....

The day when we met after 1 week.... u can stil say i missed u alot.... n yesterday... u can jux say... i dun love u anymore....

do u noe tat.... loving a person.. takes alot of courage? jux when i plucked up my courage 2 gib it a try... when i noe u are some1 i can depend on... u take it all away....

Mayb i m realli not the gal 4 u... but y... did u make up tis fairytales... n made me... fall so deep N ask me 2 jux get up? its hard.... n i m afraid now... realli afraid.....

The words.. de words on my hp.... feel like stabs right thru my heart.....

*My heart is still aching.... Can someone... stop de bleeding in my heart?

Viper rox...

2005-05-20T22:15:00.000+08:00

I m back frm my 3 days camp!!! hahax.. got miss me guys??? oK... tiS entry will be wad i encountered these few days...

Ok... 1st very 1st thing tat i wanna share wib u guys is tat... i met tis incredible ger hu share alot of common points wib me... N we clicked. realli hit offf realli well... her name is Qing Xin N we hab tis pet name 4 each other... hahax.. she call me Winky & i called her Stinky.. there's a story behind it... hahax...

1st day....

Reached there at arnd 8.10... there was a miscommunication... i tot is 8 at tat time de briefing... she tot is 9.. so 2 play it safe.. we met at 8+.... den went 2 sch of business there... den was told tat we were supposed 2 meet at........ 12.... oh my go... can u imagine our shock? hahhax... so.. we went 2 put our tings in a room... N along de way... get 2 know JiaYi.... hahax.. she is in DBA (diploma in business admin)... N me & sTinKy were like...makin fun of her N stuff la... she was like... I m bullied by freshees!!! haha... damn funni..

So... me & StinKy went 2 Clementi 2 grab stuff 2 eat... N we went 2 NTUC 2 grab some snacks... hahax... N during tis short trip... we found tat we haB LOADS of tings in common... No jOke... for example... we are tanned... love sports.. she is a netballer... played for SRC(s'pore Recreational Club)... i m a swimmer... played 4 nth... kekekx... den.. we love FOOD... hahax... can u imagine? we spent most of our $$ on FOOD... hahhax... den... we love ice cream... Fiesta de cheese cake... chocolate.... btw.. she tried all kinds of brands.... wan a nice choc? ask tis expert... wahahha... N dunno y... we jux hab tis... chemistry... its creepy sometimes... haha..

Den we headed back... N needa choose our grp... by reaching in2 de pail N take out a wirstband.. machiam Nike tat kind la... N mine was yellow... n in she goes in2 de pail..N took out.......... RED... i almost cried.... But... she played tis game wib de person in charge... n she swopped in2 yellow... Phew...! but tis is supposed 2 b a secret betwn us la... hehex... so... kip it a secret ya? hehex...

N de day was quite boring.... started wib brain storming session of our grp name.. n she came up wib Viper... which was 1 of de teams playin basketball or netball in de national level i tink.. hahax... den our facilitator added a hyper... N we were called... Hyper Viper... hahax.. cool rite?? hehx...

At nite... there's tis formal dinner... i wore de peranakan shirt wib jeans... sort of formal.. but de jeans made it look less formal.. n stinky wore a spag n pants too... N den we ate a buffet meal... followed by dancing... hahax... performance by de facs N com members... gr8 i mus say... considered it was like... 2 hrs preparation? hahax...

Den.. reached our bunk... n we called it a night... zZz....

2nd Day...

Tis is a day of fun & fatigue.... haha..

Started de day wib breakfast... bread N kaya/peanut butter/strawberry jam.. & miLo... den.... played de 6 stations... where we ran arnd in SP... N de 1st 2 stations we lost... but de rest.. we beat all de teams.. de one which hab leave a deep impression in me is de Scissors paper stone... hahax... cos we mux run from one end 2 another... Den de team which gets all de members across will win... but at some point where 2 members meet.... deey will play de game la... but if u lose... u wll hab 2 go back...

Den... every1 hab gone 2 de other end le... left me onli... N halfway across... i hab lost 2 a ger.. N i quickly ran back 2 protect my territory.... 2 prevent dem from winning.. den.... i beat one by one... Until i reached their territory... haha... it was a tough fight... N de pressure being de last was so gr8.... ohman... hahax...

N de other 1 station which was beri impactful was de acting game... hahax... 3 in a grp hab 2 eat bread wib wasabi inside.... N we hab 2 guess hu is eating de bread wib wasabi in de opp team... N stinkywas not eatin de 1 wib wasabi la... but she act until she got eat lidat... oh my god.. she was so real!! tears were runnin down her cheeks... her face was red... den she eat until beri xin ku lidat lor... den when i turned 2 look at her... i almost cried too!! oh man!! my buddy!! den she looked at me N winked... hehehx...

N de opp team was fooled la... but dey won... cos dey guessed correctly... oh well.. we were famished by de time we end... N went 2 hab lunch...

Along de way... me & Qing xin were singing de song Pinky n de brain... hahha... den we called Jia Yi Pinky... N we were de brainies.. but i dun like... den we find words 2 rhyme wib Pinky... den we came up wib Stinky.. den she is called Stinky cos she sweat alot... hahah... all her shirts ar dry-fit... hhha.... n me called Winky... cos i like 2 wink... haha...

Den in de aft... we hab tis Amazing race.... where we headed out of SP... N went arnd de central area 2 look 4 clues 2 go 2 de next station.... n being de enthu grp... we ran all de while... from one place 2 another... hahax... imagine... tis grp of students... runnin in Suntec City? hahahax... f arni sia... but fun wor... got a sense of achievement... haha..

N we were de 1st... n last stop was City hall MRT de Raffles City... den... it started rainin... n de game was called off... so we headed 2 Starbucks n headed back 2 SP... where we were supposed 2 meet at 6pm..

At nite.. we hab tis competition... where we were supposed 2 dress up a couple... Ger to guy N guy 2 ger... hahax... den there's tis guy in my grp called Dave... same course as me... hahx.. he was damn funni la... wear his Spongebob squarepants BOXER N a trash bag arnd his waist which was his *mini-skirt*... hahax... den he walked until beri xin ku la... haha... N StinKy was de guy... so cute sia... wib a tie... den her hair was waxed in an attempt 2 make it stand but failed cos her hair was too long... haha... but we won it wor..

den we were shagged... realli tired... but we needa tink abt de act 4 de last day... n we tink until 2 plus... N den our brain was so wired up.. we wrapped up wad we tot up of N ucked in2 our slping bags... zZz...

3rd Day...

At arnd 3+... we were dragged out of bed.... my god... there was tis NIGHT walk... stupid la... den we hab 2 like... walk arnd SP... hahax... stupid la.. den was scared along de way by de FACS... hahax.. .but de farni ting was tat... me & Stinky were not scared la... cos we were chatting all de while.. N we werent bothered at all... haha..!

Den ended de night walk n headed back 2 our bunk... N zzz... missed him so much...

Woke up at arnd 7+.... cos needa prepare our performance... den we came up wib dance steps... de songs... hahax.... fun experience...

Den...at arnd 12... it was Show time!! hahax... althou it wasnt perfect cos we fumbled here N there.. we still enjoyed ourselves... thou i was dead tired & hungry... hahha... den.... we won de Best Grp... cos we hab de most points...hahx...

After de whole ting ended.. .we went 2 Clementi hawker centre 2 pig out.... ordered so much food sia... de Fish fillet meal beri nice wor.... hahha... but de Hong Ji de satay beehoon ar... SUX ar... haha... den went 2 Mac 2 tok tok... den took a cab home... she lived in Bedok n me... CCk... hahha..

Misses him so so much.. wonder wad my dar dar is doin? haix... neber got de chance 2 c him 2dae... so sad.... haix... neber mind... 2 more days 2 sunday onli... hehhex...

*Dar Dar....i looked at de sky for dunno how mani times le..... haix.... wanna hug hug u rite now....

Argh!! I miss my dar dar!!

2005-05-17T12:57:00.000+08:00

2dae mornin sent my dar dar 2 his camp... went all de way 2 harbourfront... den ate breakfast wib him at de Seah Im hawker Centre... fishball noodle & yun tun mee.. hahax...

Den realli beri she bu de orh... on de MRT... look at him.. N tink... ohmygawd... i m gonna b without him for 6 days... 6 DAYS.. my god... cant eben tolerate 1 day... much less 6 DAYS... argh... feel like hugging him now.... regret neber hug him b4 he went 4 to join his frenx... haix...

Yesterday nite made 6 hearts 4 him... wrote wad i will wanna say each day... hehex... hope he will feel touched... hiak hiak... den he gave me a letter too.... me read him on de way back home alone... almost cried.. haix...

Dar dar.. u hab left me for 5 hrs... but i misses u alrdy.... muaxxx... hope sunday come faster...... haix....

*U said b4... how much u miss me shows how much u love me... N its the same 4 me... lub u muchx....

A night under the stars..

2005-05-16T09:29:00.000+08:00

mE now at my dAr dAr hse blogginG wOrx... hehex...

Yesterday spent the whole nite wib my dar dar at East CoAst park worx... hehex....

After work.. which was my last day btw... me waited 4 dar dar n we went 2 Eunos n took bus no. 13... den.. went there... N sat on tis huge rock... hahha.. but de tide quite high de neh...so we sat awhile den went 2 a shelter..

den on tat rock... when we loked up.. de stars littered de whole sky n it was realli realli beautiful.. N i was tinkin wor.... Being in de arms of ur loved one... under de beautiful sky... hearing de waves crashing against the rocks.. it is realli a blessing wor...

Then he kept vigil all nite wor.. so touched... N on de bus he was like.. nodding off every now & den... hahx...

Den we jux went 2 hab breakfast... later goin out again le orh...

hMm... dAR.. will miss u like hell during de six days camp........ haix..

*Missing someone is a blessing.. Having someone tinkin of u every nite... its someting called happiness...

Gib me 2!

2005-05-11T22:32:00.000+08:00

2dae... is our 2nd month anniverary wor... hehex...

Yesterday.. went 2 bbq at woodlands... den there was some unhappiness there... but overall.. i enjoyed myself N hab quite alot of fun... hehex... den.. after de bbq ended... me .. dar dar.. n 2 of his frenx at sg there sat at dar dar hse downstairs de kopitiam tok until tis morning... hahhax..

Surprised rite? i can actualli taun de whole nite... den reach home.. jiu sleep N sleep le... until 3pm.. den wake up... haha..pro rite? Niewayx... yesterday went 2 watch House of wax wor... ohmygawd... its so gruesome sia... but unlike BOOGEYMAn... tis movie actualli hab story plot... hahax.. which by de way was quite interesting la..

N 2dae went 2 ORchard... cos we wanted 2 eat Fish & CO... so we went 2 Centrepoint de.. N ordered Seafood platter for 2.. wow.. nice sia... realli beri nice... 2 thumbs up sia.. den.. went 2 Far East N walk walk... look 4 a dress 2 wear 2 de formal nite during de last nite of my camp... but de dresses i tried ar either too formal or dey made me look FAT.. ohman... hahax.. but good side... i bought a tank top!! n its a green one... de color my wardrobe dun hab... hahax...

Den... on de way there... he let me listen 2 tis song by Angela Zhang... dunno wads de title la.. den yesterday me kip singing de chorus... den 2dae he let me listen 2 de whole song... felt so touched neh... den dunno y.. lean on his shoulders... i recalled de times we spent together... de little little tings he did 4 me... de obstacles we went thru... N somehow or rather.. tears jux dropped.... So glad tat i hab such a wonderful dar dar orh..

*Dar dar... i jux wanna tell ya tis... i realli realli lub u... N i dun wan 2 let u leave me again... I cant imagine wad would life be... without u... without your warm hugs.... N ur warm smiles... lub ya so much tat i sometimes.. i can jux burst wif happiness worx... N... remember... every 11th of de month... we will spend it together... gou gou shou N gai zhang wor..

Forever Love?

2005-05-08T12:50:00.000+08:00

Yesterdae went wib dar dar 2 Queensway... N we sort of quarelled orh.... Haish... sometimes.... realli dunno wad he tinkin... N he would go all silent.... like tat time when Max was on de train wib us... den when he sent me home... he din eben wanna hold my hands...

Den... i oso quite pissed off la... cos er... dun tink i shld say it here... haha..

After tat... on de bus.. we wrote wad we felt on my beloved postcards... until i feel so sick... cos de bus is moving ma... n i fell asleep... after i woke up... he gave me tis postcard... er.. actualli its mine la... but he used it N wrote on it...

den we went 2 lot 1... den i ordered de Mother's day cake... den we went 2 de park...n we talked it out la... den everything ok le lor... hehex..

All's well ends well...

*Dar square... i jux wanna tell u tat... no matter wad happen... i will still love u de orh.... hehex... forever love wor... muax...

today...

2005-05-02T22:12:00.000+08:00

Dar dar n me went out orh... spent de whole day at Orchard..

1st stop... Far east! hahax... oh well.. jux walk n walk.. din find anitin nice piece of clothing... tat suit me la.. so... went 2 Heeren... den go up.. walk awhile.. den went 2 eat NYDC!! hehhex... my fav eating place... me ate three amigos... *as usual* de set lunch... N dar dar ate roast chicken spaghetti set lunch... nice nice too..

den de bill was cheap too.. cos i used de Cleo coupon.... it was onil 19.90.... each person was onli 10 bucks... hahax... den... went 2 Cine...

hehex...finally bought my sandals!!wooHoo~ den... we walked all de way 2 PS... N drank sugar cane juice... den.. walk somemore... N went home le.. cos hab 2 b home 4 dinner...

Hmm... sometimes... i feel so incredible... 2 hab such a wonderful bf.... althou we hab quarrels.. but we owax managed 2 solve dem peacefully... N so happily... n i feel tat we ar eben closer after each quarrel wor..

Den yesterday... when he called me during closing time.... in de toilet... jux bcos... he missed me... ohmygod... i was so touched worx.. .so sweet of him... aww.... hehehx... lub him so muchy... muax!

*Dar dar.. i lub u so much... dun wanna let go... muax.

Haish..

2005-05-01T20:24:00.000+08:00

2dae ended work at 4... was supposed 2 end at 5... was ecstatic when i heard i can go off earlier... cos can c my dar square... he workin full sia.. den shld break at arnd 5...

so me quickly head 4 woodlands... when reachin sembawang.. he called... den de 1st ting he said was.. u go strt 2 cck la... i quite tired n hungry... den i quiet 4 a few seconds.. "orh ok lor..." my heart.. instantly broke eh..

den he say... nevermind la... u come.. hmm... den i say ok lor... den i tot... wad if i was de 1 workin full... den at breaktime.. he say wanna meet me... haix... dunno leix... confused.. 1 hand... scared wil like... disturb him lidat... de other hand... dunno y he sound so sianx... mayb 2dae a busi day 4 him barx.. den me msg him... neber mind la.. i go strt 2 cck... u stay at there n eat.... later at nite u knocked off le msg me...

den he called... i reachin woodlands le... den he say u come la neber mind... den i get off lor.... den walk walk... hahax... N its like... 15 min onli eh... mayb some of u can say i m foolish... but den 2 me... can c him 4 eben 1 min... i oso damn happi le....

den reached home... jiu kana nagged... sianx... hmm... awaitin 4 his phone call... miss my dar square so much....

*imu alot...

Finally.... Can blog!!

2005-04-27T20:00:00.000+08:00

my idiotic brother hor... realli damn idiotic eh... din tell me de internet can use le... den he use until so shuang... whereas poor me... din use 4 almost a month le!!! hahax.. *dar dar... not my fault.... hehehx...

Nieway... these few days... feel as if a childish me hab grown up... seen some ugly sides of human nature.... n de complicated relationship bewteen human.... somehow or rather... tokin 2 customer seem 2 b de most interesting part of my job...

N... i m sick.... i realli mean SICK.... last nite cant slp much.. kip coughin.... wake up cough... slp 4 awhile... den cough again... at some point realli feel like i cant breathe sia... so painful... aiyo aiyo aiyo...

Den... 2dae went 2 c a doc at teck whye... take med.... buy some tings.. jiu go home le... ohmygod... there's so many types sia.... eat until so full.. sianx... hahax..

Oh ya... N i took de application form 4 de School of Business de scholarship... n realised tat onli 30 can get it... hmm... hope dat i can get it... *cross fingers*... peeps!! wish me luck!!

*Miss my dar square so much..... haix... hope tml will feel better!!

Newsflash..

2005-04-11T19:48:00.000+08:00

hey peeps... me nt gonna blog often le..

so... dun bother comin 2 tis blog le..

thx..

*dun worry... i m fine...

One happie gurl

2005-04-09T00:47:00.000+08:00

Okiex... i change back 2 tis beach babe layout agn... hehex... cos i tink tis suit me better.... yupx... de model is still my target... kakakkax...

2dae went out wib him... tinkin abt it.. its been a long time since we went out w/o either of us rshin 4 work le worx.... yupx... N i will b spendin de rest of de days wib him til i start work on tue... yuppie yupx... tats rite... hehex....

Went 2 woodlands 2 settle our sch fees... den saw his mom.... abit shy la.... cos... neber met her b4 ma... den... dunno wad 2 tok oso.. hehx... pai se worx..

Den went 2 Orchard.... bought tix 4 7.20 de show at Cineleisure.... den 2 kill time.. we went 2 heeren.. hahax.. tok pic pic worx.... dunno y in de1st place we go take oso... hahahx... den went 2 eat at NYDC at wheelock place... missed de three amigos sia... peeps... if u haben try it yet.. u haben enjoy life 2 de fullest yet... *nodd head vigorously*.. cos i realli feel like i m in heaven when i tried de 1st bite sia... ohmygawd... its absolutely delicious man...

Den me took de digicam from freddie at NYDC... n he brought along tis ger too.. hahahx... jasmine i remember.... woohoo... freddie is finalli growing up worx....

Den... went 2 watch de 3 iron... its a farni show alrite... N quite complicated too... hahahx... de plot is quite... chim.... hmm... but its quite worth it la.. hahax...

After tat... we went 2 Taka.... he branja me ice cream!! Venezia de cookies N cream... ohmygawd. so nice sia... N i hab de whole bowl 2 myself... woohoo... i m 1 happie gurl 2dae man... den... went back by bus... den walked past tis playground... N there's 2 swings wor!! n needless 2 say... i swing N swing la.... feelin de wind rushing against my hair.... de relaxation is jux... pure bliss.... felt so happie worx...

N of cos.. there's tis great guy 2 acc me.... mua dar dar... lub ya loads.... muax... thx 4 everything....

*Can i lub u more than i m lovin u now? Hugx...

A small prob..

2005-04-08T02:56:00.000+08:00

Hey hEy!! i changed my layout finalli le worx... hahahx... tis 1 is so cuuttee rite?? hehex.... like me... *dUh~... kekex... jkjk...

Well... yesterday... came out tis teeny weeny prob betwn us... but i m so glad its solved jux now... *winKx*...

Hmm.. 2dae during work... i was distracted.. realli cant focus... den gt a few times... almost fell dwn... cos i kip tinkin abt de past... de change inside me... sth shifted in me de whole day... i dunno wad is it... but wad i can say is tat... its not sth pleasant..

Den... was suppressing de frustration & helplessness i felt... den kip singing de stupid song.... haish... den realli realli feel like goin 4 a swim....

After meeting him... felt abit better.. but den... still felt so.... down... den.. he sent me home... N we sat at de usual place there... N talked.. n toked.... n i felt so much better after we hab toked... n i felt tat i lub him eben more... N we seem b closer worx.... yupx..

ok la... gtg catch my beauty sleep la... pimples popping out on my face le... YUCKS!!!

*dar dar... i realli lub ya alotx.... huggie hugx...

Rushie rush

2005-04-04T22:03:00.000+08:00

2dae went 2 Suntec 2 watch Spanglish... de show was quite farni... thou de endin was like.. no endin lidat... but enjoyed it too... it was heart warming.... yeapx..

Den... after de show.... quickly pia 2 tanjong Pagar... wanted 2 go there watch de SYF... den get there... die... dunno wher de heck is de conference hall... den me opp de orchestra hall... den dunno tat tat is conference hall lorx... *smack head*

Reach there... de choir peeps start singing le... den me kip askin de NS guy... can go in anot... betwn intervals of songs can go in anot... hahhax... den he kip sayin no no... hahax... den saw dem thru de small pathetic tv wib dar dar... haish.. so sad..

Den dey cum out... wa laox.. so happi 2 c dem sia.. hugged some of dem... den.. me & him sat at de top seats ther... listen 2 de other choir sing... hahax... de most unforgettable one is de Victoria Sch de.. de bois look like PENGUINS sia... de yellow tie.. de black vest.. my god... i luffed when i saw dem.. .N dey actualli sang 2 ballads sia... *clapz*...

After tat... me & him went 2 JP... bought some snacks... kekex... den he sent me home... hab a fun day 2dae... hope he's not bored...

*Oh man... realli realli beginning 2 treasure u le... lub u owax. muax.

Recently....

2005-04-04T02:26:00.000+08:00

i noe its late... but dunno y.. jux feel like visiting pple's blogs... N i jux realised tat de syf 4 choir is tml!! Argh!! i wan go support my choir peeps!!! but dunno where leix... N hor... wad time it start??? haish....

Well... haben blog 4 quite some time le... these few weeks made me feel like i hab no life eh... go work... go home.. slp.. wake up.. go work... after tat go home.. slp... den de next day its de same pattern all over agn.. haha... but at least i can spend time wib dar dar.. n tats enuf...

Jux saw his blog... hmmm... somtimes... i picture myself havin tis hugge eraser 2 clear off my memories.... yupx.. memories i hab wib dat fucker... de onli regret i hab in life nw is tat i eben knew him... wad a jerk.

Oh well... 2dae is a sad day 4 me... jux knew sometin in my workplace.... haish.... tears jux flow dwn la... wadeva la... dunch wanna tink abt it niemore.. solli dar dar... wet ur shoulders once agn.... kekex...

hope tat tml can go watch dem sing... haish... *cross fingers*.. mayb i gonna call kranji sec... kekex.. clever me..

*Guilt flowed thru me these few days... shld i or shld not? but wadeva it is... i noe tat i will owax lub u n onli u...

Missin de days...

2005-03-28T22:44:00.000+08:00

Time realli flies...
still remem de sec 1 days... playin everyday... gong gong on de 1st day of sch.. lolx...
den sec 2... hahax.... me wasnt realli studyin hard.... jux tat at de last min.. its CHIONG ar.... hahax...N well... de depart of one good ger.... =(
den sec 3.... made new frenx... failed subjects 4 de 1st time.... haha....
N come Sec 4... it was quite a sad yr 4 me la... i finalli understand tat partings are part N parcel of life... it comes wib de package of "growing up".... N de mugging days 4 de Os... my god... m i glad tat these days ar FINALLY over.... de $$ spent on mac... de time spent on STUDYING... but oh well.. at least i got 2 spend it wib my best fren... hehex...

N now... de results ar out... pple ar posted 2 de schools... n er... once agn.... pple hab 2 say goodbye.... will kip in contact i m sure... if its realli good frenx... yup...

Tat day i heard Graduation on de radio while i was workin... almost cried sia... when i tot of my good buds... like j3m5.... 4e de.... 2e de... my god... time realli like.. zoomed past me sia... sometimes i wished tat i will stop growing up.. stay at... 16 yrs old.. but eben gund oso noe tat its impossible rite... haix...

Well.. made new frenx in pj... so glad tat i went 4 de 1st 3 mths... esp my rogues frenx!! Dey rox man.. peeps like Reina & Mj... yupx.... N de dupes in Dupin!!! hugged dem real tite yesterday when i went back... cos... i dunno when i will c dem agn!!!

hab loads of fun yesterday... danced until my body is perspiring.... hahax... den hab 2 go le.. cos meeting him n i needa go work in de evening!!

After work... he sent me home... rite 2 my gate... haish.. he was supposed 2 jux send me 2 de LRT de... but he took de LRT wib me... den in de end... he missed de last train... aiyo.... dar.. u live at woodlands leix... u tink walk home like walkin frm my hse 2 lot 1 ar? u ar... dun b so sha next time le leix...

Was touched... definitely... n in de end he heed my advice N went 2 flag 4 a taxi...

Ok.. all's well end well...

*Somehow... words cant fully describe how i feel abt u rite tis instant... but i jux wanna let u noe... i realli realli... lub u frm de bottom of my heart...

Hmm....

2005-03-28T11:11:00.000+08:00

well... got 2 noe de posting results alrdy... got in2 sp de mass com... hehex... happi neh.. cos tats my 1st choice... woohoo...!

den er.. last fri went out wib kaj3m5... hahax... so cute rite de name? kakikaki... hehex.. den we took pic pic wor!! so nice... ah...

hmm.. intend 2 take another job.. .realli in need of $$ now... hahhax... oh well... i shall take 1 step at a time i guess....

Hmm... in de past... i can do wadeva i like.. n there is nth stoppin me.... unless it concerns $$ la... ok.. wad i mean is tat... in de past... i can bio guys.... tok 2 guys.. go out wib dem... but now... hmm... hab 2 retink all my actions... yea... guess in a relationship.... u hab 2 trust dem... but most importantly.... hab 2 believe in urself....hahax... guess tats de power of lub...

N 2 tis guy hu noe my blog.... breaking up wib u is de most n i mean MOST correct ting i hab done in my entire life.... U ar 1 selfish f**ker hu onli wanna MAKE use of LOVE... u DuNNo wad LOVE is all about oK??? So dUN N i MEAN DUN... feeL TAT u can make me happi iF we had neber bROKEN up OK??? u cant... N i repeat... U CANT gib others happiness.... NOT now.. NOT ever!!!! Not 2 mE OR ANY oThEr GERS!!! u gET it FUCKER???

ok... me hab said wad i wanted... time 2 go prepare le.. hehex... gonna c him later!! Tata!!

*4 now... i m sure.. de onli 1 in my heart ish u... n no one.... ok?

Sickish him

2005-03-23T12:40:00.000+08:00

Is there such a word like... Sickish?? hahax... neber mind.. hu carex.. ya.. dar dar sick yesterday neh... so poor ting..

den we went 2 Wheelock place 2 eat at NYDC... hahax... me highly recommend de wor... ya... den er... mummy realli scare us wib her appetite.. bon appetite!! hahax.... or sth lidat la.. hu carex... hahax... den he neber realli eat ar.... me started 2 feel quite worried le eh...

Den... went 2 meet bird at burger King.... n he called 2 say he on MC.... N his mdm help him find replacement..... but it ink ar.. .eben he go work rite.... he wun hab de energy & mood lor... ya.. den... went 2 walk walk... finalli.. we went 2 daddy's hse... hahax...

We watched A cinderella story la.... hahax... me still luve it as much... cos gt my idol..!! Hilary Duff!! hehex... den.... when de 1st disc over le... me fell asleep sia... hahax... so comfortable ma.... den.... went 2 eat...

he still like... no appetite 2 eat eh... den me & bird ate ice kachang... hahax... den he looked real sick..... oh man... heart pain sia...

Me took him 2 c doc at Edingburg lorx... den de wait was so long sia... me fell asleep sia... hahhax.... den wanted 2write him a postcard de... but nt enuf time... cos de doc check him beri fast worx.. .den went 2 eat... bread.. hahax...

k la.. nw he seems 2 b better le eh.. goin out wib him later.. hehex...

*No matter where u ar.. no matter wad u do... i will owax.. b wib u... lub u loads...

My boo...

2005-03-22T09:57:00.000+08:00

Yesterday went out wib dar dar.... went 2 watch... Son of de mask!! hehehx...

The movie is damn funni ar.. but i tink some parts abit too fake oso la... den after wear in de mask rite.. de guy's face & hair looked damn fake lorx.. hahhax... but other dan tat... de movie was great.... N de baby is sooo.. cuuuttteee!!!!!!!!!! hahhax...

Den we were walkin past Mos Burger... den tis guy frm Mediacorp... approach him seh... den say wad... he & his frenx look out 4 talents & blah blah.... hahax... as a gf.. hahax.. i mux say i feel quite proud worx... hehex...

den after tat we went walk walk at Far East... den we went 2 makan at de food court below Scotts Shopping Centre...hahax.. ate tis plain nan.. & curry.. he too...

den we went 2 Taka again.. hehex.. me ate mudpie agn!! hahhax.. so nice sia... so chocolately... den when we left... i realised... my gummy missing!!!!!!!!!! wa liaox... so sad sia...

On de train.. tot back 2 de times i hab lost tings... haix....

Hope tat i wun lose him lor.. keke..

Last but not least... he's mine... mine & mine...

*Wanna b in ur arms 4eva.. lub u loads...

A loooonggg wait.

2005-03-19T13:10:00.000+08:00

Yesterday went out wib my rogues gers... Mj & reina... N boy.. do i hab a blast wib dem!

In de mornin.. went 2 hab breakfast wib my dar dar... at BP de mac... n he treat me wor...=) hahx... den went 2 mit dem at Somerset mrt stn...

Waited 4 awhile 4 Mj 2 come.. cos reina was de 1st 2 reach... den went 2 watch movies at Cine... heehx... wanted 2 watch Son of a Mask de... den reina saw tis flyer abt Swing gers... hahhax.. N we watched it la... den... its abt tis gers hu hab absolutely no musical background... N in de end dey formed tis jazz band demselves after some intense trng & practices.... hahax... N its was so hilarious!!

But i tink we luffed de loudest la... n at some parts we started dancing & stuff... hahax.. so fuN!! den after de show ended... de pple in front turned arnd 2 look at us sia.. so pai se!! hahhax... but hu carex...haha!! N we went jalan jalan at cine.. den saw tis brown bag tat i like.. hehx... but abit ex eh.. 29.90... den when i was tinkin if i gonna buy.. there's tis jennifer lopex song..n me & reina did some boogey b4 i gib back de bag.. N we walked out luffin.. hahhax...

Den.... went 2 Heerens 2 take pic pic.... n it turned out nice... hahhax... N den we went 2 Wheelock place 2 eat... ate at NYDC.... my god... de food ar like... so damn nice!!! *sunba*... its realli ... realli... guarantee plus CHoP.. gam pua nice... yupx...

We ate Three Amigos baked rice.... n de top is mozerarella cheese.... n there's meatballs & pepperoni... n ham too... after i took de 1st bite... i jux want more!!!!! ohmygod!! its like... so nice!! n we ordered another 1 after de 1st round... kekeke.... =)

Den came de dessert... we ordered tis chocolate cake called ugly cake... N theres chocolate ice cream bside it... de 1st bite made me feel like i m floatin in heaven sia.... de warm cake mixed wib de chilly ice cream jux simply melt in my mouth!!! omg!!! so nice sia... awww~~~~

After our stomachs ar 3/4 filled... we went 2 Far East 2 walk walk.. but cant find de bag tat i set my eyes on eh... den we went 2 Bugis...

De 1st few shops were disappointin thou.. cos i cant find de bag i wanted... den de last shop... de 1 i bought de bag 4 mummy... hahax.. i saw it!! n guess wad??? he gave me a beri reasonable price ... 20 bucks.. i was like... Har?? realli ar? hahax... yea... so happi..

By den.. our legs ar like... collapsing... so we went 2 Coffee bean... hahax... n we tried de mudpie!! hahahx... n it tasted fantastic... my god..de 1st bite jux tasted perfecto!! hhaax... yummy... n we bought chocolate chip cookie too.. it was not bad... hahax...

it was gettin quite late le.. den me went 2 Woodlands..hehex.. wanted 2 gib him a surprise worx... n i msg him say tat he knock off le call me... hahax!! den me went 2 walk walk... n den my feet jux feel so heavy la.. so i sat at de big & round de stone bench.... lookin thru de postcards we took at de NYDC cafe... den at arnd 10.45... my mom called 4 de 4th time.... sayin tat dad is real angry... so reluctantly... i went up de MRT.... almost cried sia... so sad when de tot of nt being able 2 c him.... den sat dwn N talked 2 bird... den 1 train went by.. n i ended de call..

Den.. i was tinkin.. ok.. de next 1 den... n it was 6 min...

i was leanin against de pillar... typin a msg.... den... i close it... n tot... guess fate is sleeping 2dae... den.. de train was jux 5 min away... n he finalli called.... i was so happi!!! my god... n he rushed all de way frm sg 2 mit me... hugged him when he came close 2 me sia...

de 1 hr plus wait was worth it after all.... eben if it was jux abt.. 45 min of us gettin 2geder after tat..

but de worse part was... he knew all along tat i was waitin 4 him...

*fate is helping us.. i can feel it.... quits nw orh... realli lub u... hugx..

jealousy

2005-03-18T00:43:00.000+08:00

how wld u feel if some ger ask ur bf 4 tel no. ?

when i heard abt it.... jealousy set in... ya... which ger wun rite??

hmm... den de worse is tat... he realli gib ar.. but given de situation.. hmm... cant realli blame him la... BUT!!! he actualli gave ar.... hmph!!

but in de end he gt assure me some tings la. n i hab faith in him tat he wun luan luan lai la... yupx....

okiex... 1st obstacle over... phew...!

oh ya.. I hab de song obsession le!! so happi!! its damn nice ar..

*Lovin u more everyday.... realli hope tat time will stop worx... wanna hugz u 4eva....

Assurance...

2005-03-16T01:00:00.000+08:00

Yesterday went 2 Ken's class gathering at East Coast park... hab fun neh... hehex...

Woke up at arnd 9.45... tot of lyin 4 awhile more de... but remembered tat i m makin sandwiches 4 hiM!! hahax.. so jumped up... hahax... so excited neh... my 1st time...hahax..

Den made Tuna & egg sandwiches 4 him.. de tuna 1 i made de la.. but hor de egg 1 is my mom fry de.. den i jux put a piece of cheese over de egg so tat it will like melt la... hahax... melted cheese rulex wor..!!

Den reached ther at arnd 2+... den went kayaking at 3!! So de fun leix...!! hahax.. Sunba!! its realli fun... esp when there's a grp of like.. 12? hahax.. den at some point.. all de kayaks will gather... den play de hoppin of kayaks game... hahax... 1 person will cross all de kayaks N i can tell u ar.. its nt easy lor... he so *lucky* ar.. de 1st 2 drop in2 dee water... hahax... needs balancing skill la..

After tat.. we went cycling ar... den.. me sped lorx... so stupid ar... long time no cycle ar.. den sped when 1st started cycling lorx... den... knocked on2 a little ger... Den i shouted.. Wad de f ark sia... i didnt scold at de ger... i scolded my self.. cos i noe i shouldnt hab sped ar... N after tat i felt realli beri guilty ar... haish...

Tat little ger was so pretty worx... N she is so brave leix... nv eben cry.. haish... den her kneecap was injured ar... but otherwise.. ok lorx... n me suffered minor cuts oso la.... but i tink my injury is nth as compared 2 hers ar..

Den we continued cycling ar.... den cycled past tis track.... stil remem tat time when John came 2 fetch us N we 3 squeeze in2 tis double seater... hahax.. N ttat john is a real pro at carryin pple in his bicycle de worx... kekex.... den.. felt somewad... Nostalgic? hahax... dunno la... guess life goes on...

After tat is feasting time!! hahax... later in de nite... there's still loads of chkn wings & drumsticks left over... den me & him bbq dem... N i added HONEY!! heehx... sweet!! so nice worx.. hahax.. ka ki ka ki... of cos la.. me & him bbq de ma...

den went home at arnd 10 barx.... 4got le...

Realli hab fun yesterday.. hope tat it can last longer thou... hehex...

*Hmm... actualli... wanna tel him tat... Anything tat concerns u & me... i will try as i mite... 2 squeeze in2 my mind... i m sorry tat u made u fan over tat matter... but i can assure u... its bcos.... u ar de special one... i hab remembered it in my heart.. my soul... my mind... oKiex? dunn tink too much... hugz...

Hehex...

2005-03-12T23:10:00.000+08:00

Finalli ar... my com somehow or rather... Fixed le ar... hahah!!! was feelin rather moody last few days bcos of de erm.. Disorder of de stupid com.... ya...

Hmm... some tings tat i feel like sayin here... but dun wanna let too much peeps noe too... hahax... so ermx.... shall jux say tat tings hab changed 4 me since yesterday... yupx...

N 2dae went out wif my noris.. farhan.. HyDar & him... went 2 Orchard... Lido Shaw House n watched BoogeyMan... haiyo... waste of $$ sia... de show is like... so failure lorx... hahax.. C no link... N its BORING!!! Peeps... if ur ar plannin 2 go watch.. i strongly discourage ur to... its realli a waste of $$... hahax...

Den.. went arnd 2 walk... den when we ar at TAka... we stood there N watched Strongman Challenge... wa lao.. de men are like.... Body builders sia... their muscles ar as big as papayas... no ar.. tink some ar like bigger ar... damn huge sia...! hahax.. den we went 2 heeren... took balloons... so tat puny boi aka hydar will b spotted if he goes missin agn... HAHA!!

Den.. when we were leanin against de railing... Farhan released 1 balloon.. N inhaled de gas... helium ar? hahax... den.. his voice turn out 2 b so cartoon!!!!!!!! Its like.. so totalli unlike him... N den.. its Haidar's turn... N his voice machiam Donald's Duck sia!! So damn farNi!! me & Noris were like... luffin like mad... tink we attracted quite alot of attention.. hahax... but its realli beri beri farni eh.. hahax...Jux tinkin abt me made me luff like wad le sia... hahax... den he hab 2 like.. kip supportin when he himself oso like losin control le... hahax...!!

After tat... we went 2 Taka jalan jalan ar... den he sent me home 1st at arnd 6.30... cos me hab 2 go eat dinner wib my family ma... den Noris dey all continue walkin la...

Den me slept thru'out ar... hahax... comfy comfy eh... den.... he sent me home.... den he went home lorx..

2dae is so fun... hehex... hope so much tat it will last forever... yea...

*11 march 2005.... Start of somethin special.... Lub u so muchy... muvm....

Helpless

2005-03-07T01:15:00.000+08:00

Jux listened 2 Avril Lavigne's song of Knocking On Heaven's door N realli listened 2 de lyrics... n dunno y... jux cried...

Its a slow & simple song.. lemme show ya de lyrics...

Yeah, yeah, yeah [2x]
Momma take this badge off of me
I can't use it anymore
It's getting dark, too dark to see
Feel I'm knockin' on heaven's door

Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door

Momma put my guns in the ground
I can't shoot them anymore
That long black cloud is coming down
I Feel like I'm knockin' on heaven's door

Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door

Yeah, yeah, yeah [4x]

Den 2dae went 2 mit him after work... everything was fine.. until he received a call frm his sir...

Neber seen him so... crazy b4... can c tat he was beri stressed... haish.. n useless me.. cant do anythin 2 make him feel better... realli feel like huggin him at 1 point n make all de troubles go away.. but i cant do it... haish...

Before i walked in2 de gate... gave him de lollipop i bought 2dae in de mornin... den put in2 his backpack... n told him nt 2 c until he reached home.. n hopefulli... he will feel better wor..

Den 1 msg he sent me realli made me feel quite sad eh... "Anyway re think i actually not a good person LOH.. so dun treat me so good LOH... you may regret de LOH..." i was like.. haish...

neber mind la... he happi jiu hao... hope he wun tink of unhappi tings le worx..

*Stay hyper neh... i like tat u... irmu...

Fun Day..

2005-03-05T02:38:00.000+08:00

Nw is 2.39am... haben slp yet... miracle seh.. but den.. dun feel like slpin.. n i m so hungry... but dun feel like eatin.. so.... on de com & go online...

jux went 2 peep in his blog.... hmm... tink likewise lorx... but me still nt 100% certain abt my feelings 4 him... thou wad i can say is tat i realli bginnin 2 like him more n more by each day le worx.... ya...

Mornin.. went 2 Joan's hse watch movies.... got mummy.. daddy.. birdy.. xuan yu. me.. him & joanie... 1st one was The Day After Tomorrow... wad can i say? it made my heart pound n race when it comes 2 interestin parts lorx... ya... den... me joan & him go greenridge shoppin centre 2 rent movies... den we rented Windstruck & White Chicks... den when we go back joan's hse.. we watched Windstruck...

wa.. de movie ar... sometime farni.. sometime. darn sad.. so sia suay sia.. cried in front of him agn... oh man.... tink he abit shocked leix.. hahax... but realli feel sad when de guy come back 2 say goodbye lorx..... like... its gonna b de end le ar... den.. me tot abt loads of tings ar... den.. tears jux rolled dwn lorx....

Den... at arnd 2.30.. we went off... hehex.. go highlight our hair!! hehex.... we went 2 de lot 1 there de... den me de color gt 3 worx... De hairstylist help me mix de... so good sia.. den his de horx.. highlight le bcum more lively le...n.. more... Ahem.. hao kan lorx...*sunba wor* hehex... but tink mine.. like.. nt used leix... hahax... tink it owax happen in de beginnin barx...?

After tat we go CCk de platform mit dem go Causeway 4 dinner worx... ate Pastamania. hehexx.... long time no eat Pasta le worx... den we go jalan jalan.. den de 4 of us.. me bird him & xy go piak pool... hahax.. he realli quite pro eh... realli lorx... hahax..

den after tat jiu go home le lorx.. N he sent me home... den... at de LRT there... farni tings happen ar... me abit lazy 2 type le ar..

N nw ar... tat f**kin bastard kip disturbin me ar..!! Realli feel like blockin him!! but den. aiya... 4get it la..

*Decisions decisions.... hmmm....

Hahax....

2005-03-03T22:12:00.000+08:00

Yestday was our 1st date worx... hahax... eben thou we ar currently still frenx... hmm..

Went 2 mit him at Keat Hong LRT... den he kip holdin sth behind his back.. me alrdy suspect sth wrong le worx... hahax.. den he pop out 1 bouquet of flowers!! i was so shocked!! den 1st ting in my mind was... How m i gonna explain 2 my parents??? hahax.. but i realli like it lorx.. it was a white lilac in de middle surrounded by baby breaths... n some flowers la...chio neh..

Den.. we went 2 mit my mummy.. ask her help me kip 1st.. me dun dare take de whole day in orchard road... hahax.. mummy sorry leix.... ma fan ni le!!

Den.. went 2 Cineleisure.. ate de Sushi buffet & teppankaki... n ice cream!!! lookin forward 2 it since de day b4 le.. hahax... den de food is nt bad leix.. n i tink ar. i pay 2 eat there is better dan at Sg de lorx.. realli.. n de sushi is so much betta dan sg de lorx...

Den de ice cream hor... damn cute de leix... we mux *cook* on our own de.. hhax.. den so fun.. me tried almost all de flavours sia.. hahax... den.. went 2 heeren... den walk wlk.... saw tis Swatch watch tat i liked... hmm.. gonna beg my dad 2 gib me money.. hehehx... den... went 2 Tangs.. c de Nike watch agn.... hahax.. tink nt buyin le la... me wear nt nice de...

Den.. went 2 Shaw.. we watched Howl's moving castle... wa... nice seh... i was like.. fascinated by it lorx... n de Howl quite handsome leix.. hehex... *u dun jealous worx*.. hhax... den went 2 mit mummy agn.. N he sent me home...

2dae... so unlucky sia... 4 both of us... his new shoes kana... n i lost my wristband!!!!!!!!!!!! Wad de fuck sia... was so sad... realli lorx... when i c my bare hands... realli feel like cryin sia.. feel so naked w/o it... haix... hope tat i can get it back... haix... so sad... so sad!!!

Den.. we went 2 lot 1 de pizza hut eat pizza... wanna tell him sth here... dun pay 4 me niemore!!! ya.. i m independent de ok... ya..

Den... he sent me home... den me dad was quite unpleased when he noe tat i gt a bouquet of flowers lorx... haix... den he told me abt de how impt is a university degree N so forth la... hahax... den in de end.. he still ask.. wad u wanna take in poly? hahax... i won.

so... me decide le... hab u?

*Feelings 4 u is still too raw... gib me some more time... n urself too.. ok?

Results...

2005-02-28T23:00:00.000+08:00

I was realli ecstatic when my results 4 my L1R5 was confirmed... i scored 11!! i was like... tinkin tat i mite score higher dan 12 sia...

Den.. i jux screamed n tears were rollin dwn my cheeks!! N my frenx did well too!! Esp Birdy!! she scored 10!! hahax.. realli happi 4 her... ya.. but ar.. dun fly too high until dun wanna come dwn ar..!! Same 2 joan &n mummy worx... joanie ar... cheer up!! u scored well!!

Den.. called Noris & him.. dunno called hu 1st la.. hahax.. den both din pick up.. den jiu called mummy... hahax.. she damn slow sia.. me said like.. 5 times b4 she heard wad i said... hahax.. den he called back... hmm.. tink he din do as wad he expected. but nvm la!! Its better dan ur prelims leix... N was realli glad tat he is stil as positive as ever...

stay tat way worx.. i prefer de hyper u!!

Den.. went 2 take Neos wib j3m5.. haahx.... den me go off 1st.. meetin my SISTA noris!! hahax.. so happi when i saw her sia.. hugz her real tite!! hehex...

Den went 2 Coffee Bean n drink my fav beverage.. Ice blended Mocha!! hahax... N ate cake.. Chocolate of a Thousand leaves... real nice & chocolately... hahax... den was feelin real cold... hahax.. eben thou i wore long sleeve shirt... hhax... den we went 2 Cineleisure... took neos wib her... thou de effect nt beri good... hahax..

Den saw ts pendant tat hab a Star.. hmm... quite like it eh... but den... i realli wanna find 1 tat i realli realli realli like... hahax... den i will wear tat everyday ar... hahax..

Den.. we went 2 heerens.. took neos agn!! hahax.... chat chat along de way.... so mani tings 2 tok abt eh!! hahax... den de effect was realli great!! ahhax.... shall put it on friendster sia.. hahax...

Den we went 2 Pacific Plaza... she showed me some tings ar... den... me dun realli feel well eh.. but den.. stil can take it la.. den she wanted 2 buy tis cap 4 farhan ar... den she took out de cap... hahax.. den i so bad... push it back... den cant stand it.. jiu take out de cap N walk over 2 de Cashier... hahhahax.... so bad of me rite... hahax..

Den she bought it ar...

After tat.. went 2 Popular at orchard MRT stn there eh... den we bought cards ar... she wanted 2 thank her one 4 de support tat day ar.. den me oso wanna thank him 4 being there 4 me eh... N de sweets he gave me lorx..

Den... he meet me at woodlands mrt stn.. he came in2 de train... hahax... Noris was like. .so excited 2 c him sia... hahax... den she stopped at marsiling... hey kakak... realli enjoy de day wib u eh.. N thx 4 celebrating wib me!! hahx.. lub u loads wor!!

Den he sent me home ar... sha gua... nxt time eat more full ar... so slim.. needa go gain some weight eh!!

k la... me gtg rest le.. Congrats 2 all... we hab finlali escaped frm kranji... hahax!!

*Thx loads worx...

Confused.. yet again...

2005-02-25T12:08:00.000+08:00

As i stared at ur reflection.. guilt gripped me... i realli dun wanna tell u abt him... cos.. i dun wanna b remembered by it... haix... it somehow dawned on me tat tings ar startin 2 get blur.. ahead..

i was touched... realli.. when u said wad u said last nite... abt de handphone tingy... i nv tot tat u wld b so good... but... pls.. stop being so good 2 me... i dun wanna go thru de same pain tat i've gone thru.. haix...

hope u will find ur happiness owax...

*I m startin 2 tink too muchy...

Can i realli get rid?

2005-02-24T10:54:00.000+08:00

i noe i m bad... i noe... but i cant help it...

i realli wanna 4get tat we ever hab tat relationship... N so i lied 2 everyone... i noe it was mean of me.. but... i dun wanna remember us.. i dun wan 2 admit tat there was ever an *us*... haix...

i m realli glad tat i went 4 tis 1st 3 mths course.. i noe loads of new peeps...! N my class rox. even thou there is an unbalance betwn both sides... but.. i realli enjoyed being in de class.. The orientation... de lessons... de jokes.. everything....

at some point in times.. .i realli feel like stayin.. realli... but nw.. i more or less decided to go 2 a different sch... a place.. where i will hab 2 start afresh... a place... where there will b loads of unfamiliar faces... yes... i noe i m in 4 some obstacles... mayb.. i will b a loner there.. mayb... i will screw up my life there... but 1 ting is 4 sure... if i choose 2 stay in a jc... i will hab 2 lead de life tat i led in de last few years...

haix. yestday was my last trng wib de gers... so sad... but yestday sure was fun... there were more drills... yea.. realli enjoyed every minute of it... N being wib my new found frenx... like reina... yea.. realli luv dem loads..N we took pic pic!!

After trng we jux sat on de grandstand n tok wib 2 of our seniors.. de Captain & vice captain... N all de J1s toO!! hahhax.... reali farni sia some of de tings we said.. like how 1 of de j2s slept during lecture N FARTED!! omg?!?!? how could a sleeping person sleep & fart?? hahax... damn farni la... den still gt anader hu snored during a test!! hahah!!! i cant imagine tat!!!

Oh well... guess good tings dun last... so do good times we hab at 1 point or anader.... de earth will continue 2 rotate on its own axis... so do us.. will grow up sooner or later..

*I dunno wad u tryin 2 do... haix... pls dun like me... i m nt worth it...

Money come.. money go..

2005-02-21T21:05:00.000+08:00

Oh no... i m beginnin 2 spend... n i mean.. realli spend... i can jux spend 100 bucks w/o a second tot... on a pair of Adidas shoes.. omg...

Den... its spend N spend.. on dunno wad fuck oso... sia la... i tink ar... sonner or later ar... my bank acc gonna b left wif zero leix... sian diao!!

Oh well... work more lorx... niewayx.. me most prob gonna sign de withdrawl form soon barx.. so.. nxt week.. gonna work full time... yea...

Well.. it seems like its more or less confirmed tat tis fri is THE DAY... dun realli care la.. if its meant to be... it will..

Den.. 2dae went 2 make de Singpass tingy at de Causeway there... den... aft makin de Singpass... we go walk walk.. took neos...

After tat.. me & shi xian go back 1st... den me walk past de sg... hahax.. den so qiao... Ken workin.. de he asked 4 my hp no. ... hahax... me at 1st wan press 999 de.. but den he startin work le... so me jux typed my hp no. lorx... hahax... he so farni sia... 1 yr older dan me... but den.. dunno y ar.. .tink like a 10 yr old... *shake head*. hahax..

Hmm.. feelin damn slack. but 4 me.. its.. ok.. but den.. i sure m gonna miss Firda dey all de.. N 2dae Junjie gave me de photos we took on de Sentosa trip.. den gt write a short message 4 me too.. wad a sweet guy... hahax.. den gt 1 photo is we took wib de cryin ang moh baby ger... wa lao!! So damn cute!!! hahax...

Ok la.. .go do my zhuo wen le.. gib my CT tcher face.. hahax..

*I m tinkin too much...

Mass bbq..

2005-02-18T23:26:00.000+08:00

woohoo... de bbq jux ended nt long ago...

2dae... 4 de 1st time.. i was in front of de pit.. barbequeing...hahahx... its real damn tough work....sweating like dunno wad... den after some time... de smoke jux stream in2 my eyes N make me cry!! hahax...

after we ate.. we played wib de sparkles... den after we lite dem we jux chiong round de track... hhahx.. de feelin was realli shiok!! I will nv forget de feeling de... nt ever... BUT!! de mood was totalli spoilt by tis farking teacher... wa laox... stopped us & gave us a lecture.... sian diaox... den we go back...

Den.. after tat we chiong 2 cck park slack.. den took photos... eat somemore... den.. came de sad part...

De ogls... meow.. firda.. siew ching... dey learnt tat kiong leavin le... cos both of us nt plannin 2 stay.. den meow cried... den i c her cry i oso cry... wa lao eh... realli feel so damn sad sia... haish...

Den we promised 2 finish de last few days... n whenever there's outings.. i will try my beri best 2 there de... yes..

Haish.. den i realli feel so sad... like.. de seperation is jux tml..omg... haish...

Den i started 2 blame myself.. y de hell did i join tis 1st 3 mths.. since i m so certain tat i m gonna go 2 a poly?? Mayb... bcos deep in my soul.. i hab tis teeny weeny feelin tat i mite choose 2 go 2 a jc.... haish.. but after attendin these meaningless lessons.. i cant b more certain tat i m gonna go 2 a poly... haish.. i will surely miss de peeps de lorx.. n those wonderful tchers...

*thx 2 all de pple hu hab crossed my path in tis short journey... luv ur loads...

Out i go again...

2005-02-17T20:28:00.000+08:00

hab been disappearin frm home lately... haha... mayb cos... i dun like de feelin of bein home N there's jux nth 4 me 2 do!!! yea.. i noe i hab a ton of hmwk... but den.. haix.. de tot of hittin de damn books jux make my heart feels so much heavier...

Somehow... i feel like being a realli bad ger.... like.. jux 4 once... tok back 2 teachers... hahax.. de day b4.. i almost got knocked dwn by a lorry... Once agn... i m standin on dis beri thin line betwn life & death... but tis time round.... dunno y... i feel like jux givin de driver de *FINGER*... yea... dunno y la... jux.. hab tis urge of holdin tat 1 finger....

Den... yestaday... went 2 watch Hide & Seek... hahahx... de plot was damn interesting... realli.. worth watchin... de endin was totalli unexpected... althou i was a tad slower.. as Farid hu was sittin beside me exclaim de unexpected outcome... hahahx...

Den after tat... walk arnd.. N saw ts Mango shirt tat i luv alot... but den.. i jux cant find it!! Den nvm lorx.. go piak pool at Cineleisure there... quite cheap seh... 7.90... den me played wif tiqi... cos me beginner ma... den we played at de 8 foot table.. den farid,hanx & afiq played at de 9 foot de..

1st game.. i lost.. hahx.. realli damn sucky sia... den 2nd 1... me so skilled.. piak in de black ball... wahahhax... den tiqi say nvm carry on... den in de end.. i won! hehehx... den de nxt game.. realli damn suay agn... de black ball kana piak in agn... den i was like.. Shhh!! Dun tell dem!! in de end.. tat big mouth still tell dem la... hahahx...

N i won de last game too!! hahhx.. so happi...! den... went home le...

2dae... wen 2 watch A moment to remember... wib xav.. lilian.. lee chiu.. laiyan & baobao..De movie was beri beri touching... but den..........

tink i shldnt elaborate de movie details yea? hahax... well... at arnd de las part... sometin unexpected happened... N lee chiu say gt tears in her eyes le... but den.... wad did i do?? i actualli luffed!!! haahx.. but so did de rest la... abit chian bian la.. .ahhax... but den... hmm... althou some parts i was realli touched.. i din cry.. nor were tears in my eyes... y neh??

Well.. den after tat.. me & lai neh go orchard.. ehehx.. N i go bought tat Mango shirt!! my veri 1st Mango shirt!!! yea!! hhax... de price was qt reasonable... 35 bucks... but i realli lurve de shirt... so i dun realli care..

Aft tat.. me & lai neh go take pic pic.. hehex.. it turn out fantastic!! hahax.. realli lurve it... N i was realli glad tat me & her can go out.. cos nv realli go out wib her b4... yea.. den.. toked alot along de way... ya... hehex... thx worx..

K la... me shld probably start 2 b at home more often.... ya... shld rest... me gettin sick le... aiyox...

*I m beginnin 2 forget wad is de feeling of being loved...

Out i go...

2005-02-15T22:07:00.000+08:00

Hmm... sometin beri beri coincidential happened 2dae.. no.. act is 2... but den... hmm... dun wanna say until so clearly barx..

2dae so damn sianx... den jio pple go out... hahax.. lucky dat Farid nt workin... slackin arnd at home... den we go lot 1 piak pool... wa.. shiok sia.. me learnt alot of tings... i learn how 2 start de game.. *break de balls*.. how 2 arrange de balls.. den... some... skills? hahax.. he's a good entertainer too!!

Den... me told him act me wan go watch movies... den we damn lame sia.. at some point we jux stand there N talked... so waste of $$!! hahhax... den i say.. Eh.. we like wastin our $$ sia... hahax.. N he agreed N we finished de game... lucky we finished 3 games in an hr.. Which was quite alot considerin we fooled arnd? hahax.. ya... n it wasnt cheap too..

Den we went upstairs.. den watched de movie.. i do i do... we missed de 1st 5 min.. hahax.. den thruout de movie we were like luffin like mad lorx.. hahax... den me still hab 2 translate some times... but he damn funni la... eben thou some parts he dun understan ar.. he can stll luff sia... lolx..

Durin de movie.. subhan msg him.. jio him go piak pool... hahax.. so qiao... den.. Farid tell him he watchin movie wib me... lolx.. i was like... luffin n luffin lorx.. wahahahx.. den we ate Nachos!! hehex... my fav movie tidbits... heehx...

On reachin home...jiu kana scoldin frm dad...fuck sia... den me feel quite pissed sia.. cos dey kip tinkin dat i m nt serious in sch... N eben as i try in explainin dat i hab no interest or i jux wanna go poly... dey dun seem 2 get it... haish.............

i called 2 my workplace n say tat i cant work.. bcos my mom told me daddy dun wan me work le... den.. i go out.. oso kana scolded.. fuck sia... haish.. wad 2 do? dey r my parents.. sianx..

*i seem 2 b driftin little by little frm tis fucked up life... haish...

PoNtEng

2005-02-15T11:23:00.000+08:00

YestAdAy worked... den since iT wAs Valentine's day.. de price 4 eaCh head is Weekend price... sian diao.. hahax... nvm la... c de couples eat until so happi... u 1 bite i one bite.. wa... envious seh...

Den so damn freakin busi sia... reach there jiU staRt work liao... wa liew... den sAw 1 kranjian.. joanne ting... hahax... she wib her bf neh..

Reached home at abt 12.30... den bathe le jiu go orh orh liao... den 2dae cant wake up.. jIu pOnteNg loRx... dn nOe tat charmander oso pon sia.. hahax... online le she jiu msg me liao...

hMm... tis yR luck nort bEri good... pLay bunluck no bunluck.. sian diao... hahax... nvm la... nxt yr barx! hehex...

I wan go watch movie... haish!!

*Where ar u? i m searchin aimlessly...

New yr..

2005-02-09T13:04:00.000+08:00

Woohoo!! its dat time of de yr agn... hahax... 2dae is Chu yi... but me still at home... n my parents dunno go where... wake up dey jiu nt home le. call dem but dad switched off his phone... sian diao... i wan go bai nian!! get loads of hong bao!! hahax...

Yestday went back KSS n erm.. is tat called crashing? lolx... dunno la.. den saw de concert.. yada yada yada... den aft tat me & john go off... go queensway look 4 our class jerseys... wa.. saw loads of cool designs.. n finalli settled on de Adidas de.. but de boss nida check on de sizes thou... *cross fingers*... den me saw tis Adidas shoes tat hab brown stripes!! *Gasp!!*... Dunno wan buy anot.. cos i prefer de Nike Airforce series de design.. den was hopin mayb Chalin is lucky & can get 4 me 1 pair... cheap ma... at Korea there... lolx..

Den me went 2 my grandma's hse eat reunion dinner... hahax. N gt hongbao frm Ah ma... hehex... den at nite mummy gib us ya shui qian oso... hahax.. den me nv open la.. jux put under my pillow.... heehx.. forgt wad it stands for... but read tat mux put under pillow....

Hmm.. dunno y ar... me like.. nt beri interested in wads inside de hongbao tis yr.. mayb i m workin..? hahax... or perhaps me startin 2 cherish de money i hab... hahax... yea.. i will save up!! N stop shoppin until so hiong le... 1 day can jux spend 200 bucks... in de past?? hahax!!!

Ok.. hereby.,. Wish all my peeps a beri Happi Chinese New Yr!!! Kip Smiling!!! yea!

1st training

2005-02-04T20:45:00.000+08:00

2dae hab my 1st touch rug training... haha.. n i get 2 noe loads of gers!! haha.. ya... 1 of dem is irene's fren... reina.. haha.. she beri farni la... den beri talkative oso.. ya... den 2dae basically we did drills... like passin of de ball... runnin...it was quite fun... hehex...

Den saw my grp of canoe frenx runnin along de canal.. wa.. brings back memories man... still remem dat time we ran 5.4km... wa... damn hiong sia... den 2dae.. dey ran 8.1kM!!! my gOodness!!! hahax... 0.0... hahax... margaret oso gt in... wa... *clapz*...

aFter tat.. irene.. me & joanna went 2 eat dinner 2geder... den me & irene were tokin abt tis guy... hahax... he quite cute la.. hahax.. but den... hmm... nt my type la... hahax.. NIEWAYx.. i hab nasi briyani... den de canoe guys actualli drank a 1 litre of MILK... wa lao.. damn healthy lorx...den 2 of dem actualli gt eat rice too... siao sia... i was like... starin in shock... hahax... guys wil b guys i guess... dey jux hab tis.. HUGE appetite. hahax...

Ok... 2dae gonna set a goal.. go swimmin once every 2 days... yea.... hahax...

*Crossin fingers... hoping N hoping...

Confused...

2005-02-01T19:33:00.000+08:00

Yestday & 2dae gt 2 noe de results of de trials... i gt selected 4 canoe.. touch rug & ODAC..

Den.. 2dae jiu nid 2 make choices le.. den i chose ODAC & touch rug... feel abit.. ngia ngia... but.... dunno leix.... guess my heart's nt wib canoe barx... sad sia.. but... dunno leix... haish...

2dae went 2 mit birdy at cck de ctrl stn there.... den... gt xuan yu oso... hmm... dunno leix... jux feel tat.. she somehow.. drifted 2 ij le lorx.. like.. almost every conversation is abt ij de lorx... nt tat i hate it la.. but somehow. it sort of... dunno how 2 say leix.... can say tat.... its quite.. disturbin la.. cos.. she can like.. we tokin abt sometin.. den she can completely switched over 2 ij tingy.... ya...

Haish.... den... 2dae oso beri shocked la... its like.... in de 1st place... its bcos of B tat we quarelled.. den 2dae.. she go tok 2 B.... stupid sia... hai.. dunno la... i oso dun reali wanna care la.. later fall in2 great depression agn... sian diao... kk... me stop crappin le...

Buzz off liaox....

*Standin at de bridge.. lookin at de calm waters... when will i learn 2 b decisive?

Gettin Rid of past...

2005-01-29T10:47:00.000+08:00

Yestday ah Ma msg me.. N me told her tat i m startin 2 tink 4 de future of mine le...

Tis is wad i've concluded... U live once.. live it well...

N she replied... Let de past be history.. N de future b ur present... she created on her own de neh... hehex... N i told her she's my gift... yea....

Yestday went 2 de ODAC trials... den got 2 noe some new peeps... hahax.. there's tis guy in my grp.. called Landy... den we when we self intro.. we were like... Landy Sandy.. sO farni sia... den we played Double Wacko... Elope... de norm ice-breakers games lorx.. den.. we proceeded on 2 de Telematch...

hahax.. N guess hu i partnered wib? Landy la... hahax... i realli too blur le la... Everytime when i nt tokin hor.. de vice-president-Junjie nv call my name leix... but whn i tokin hor.. he will call me de leh!! N its onli me!! hahax.. 1st time is in when we playin Wacko.. den Nurul was introducin herself... den i tokin 2 KaiYin... sian diao... den he ask me.. wads her name? i say nurul.. hahax.. cos we knew each other thru canoeing ma... den he ask me... Wads her reason 4 joinin ODAC.. den she mouthed 2 me... I haben say yet... den alot of good peeps there alrdy shouted de ans le.. wahahhax...

Den de 2nd time.. Junjie wanted 2 transfer sum peeps 2 my grp.. den i was tokin.. once agn... N i missed out some details.. den when he say transfer 2 Sandy's grp... he asked me 2 raise up my hand... den i dunno ma.. lucky nurul in front of me... den i quickly raise up my hand... hahahx... den after tat... de 2 gers hu ar goin 2 get transferred still dunno where my grp is.. den i was tokin.. AGN... den Junjie say.. Sandy raise ur hand agn.. Den i quickly raise up my hand up high.. hahax...

Den de telematch was ok la... nt beri fun leix... but still orite la... den... after tat hab de interview... i kip luffn la.. cos i realli dun wan it 2 bcum a beri serious discussion norx.. ya..

Den aft tat hab dinner wib my John.. Ys.. Sl.. bao.. lll... kok weng.. ya.. den go home.. wa.. me still quite energetic.. den... when me gonna go slp.. sian diao.. de air-con nt cold de... dunno wad reason oso... den.. me & derrick slp in de livin room... Ko lian dai... hahax..

Ok la... gtg mop de floor le... mummy beri busy 2dae... so mux help out abit... hehex.. me beri guai worx!! hahax...

*The future is my present... n de history... let it float away like wind...

Someday we'll noe...

2005-01-27T20:59:00.000+08:00

i dunno wad 2 do... but i realli hope tat i wil hang on there..

mayb someday... i will achieve enlightenment... but oh well.. i jux hope tat tings will get better .. althou i noe its like... impossible..?

rite nw.. i m tryin my beri best 2 nt tink of anitin... yes.. scrape tat tot, SANDY.. yes.. i will do it & i can do it...

Okiex.. time 4 me 2 go... haish.. y ixxit tat.. pple wun treasure unless its lost..? ther will b a time when we say... If onli...... haix.. guess its human nature... diaox... okiex.. stop crappin le la...

Wad if i realli m gone..? dun tink nie1 carex thou...

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!

2005-01-26T22:19:00.000+08:00

I wanna smash my phone... dun ask me y.. i wun tell u.. nt bcos i dun lurve it niemore.. BUT.. ARGH!!!!!

I wanna go 2 Australia.. RITE nw!!! Rite tis beri instant!!! Where i can JUX forget evErythinG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! N i mean EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHEN is de dAmn pAin lEAVING me?????? WHEN haR??? TimE heaLs aLL wounDS??????? i DUN TINK SO!!!!!!!! Fark iT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!! FUCK DE PPLE hU bROIuGHT mE paiN!FaRK dE ppLE HU aCT LIKE dEY dUN FREAKIN CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FaRK!!!!!!!!!!!! GO 2 heLL la!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUX DISAPPEAr FRM mY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NO MORE!!! i JUX cANt TAKE it nIEmORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Y AiNT dE MEMORiEs GOIn AwAy???????????? cAN SOmE1 tELL ME??? CAn nIEoNE uNdErSTaN??? NO!!!!!!!! I DUN TINK SO!!!!!!!!!!! arGH!!! WaD DE FaRK SIA????????!!!!!!!!!!!

JUX GET DE FREAKIN HELL OUT OF MY IMPERFECT LIFE!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES U! YeS!!!!!!!!

solli... jux an entry 2 vent my frustration.. haish... i m breakin dwn....

Useless me... =(

2005-01-25T20:40:00.000+08:00

2dae hab hockey trials.... its fun.. realli.. trust me... but... dun tink i can make it la... there's like.. a ton of pple hu r betta dan me... lolx...

Den.. after tat.. hab canoe trials... haish... de 1st round was warm-up... n it was ok..

After tat.. we hab our usual stretchin exercises... den... we go for 8 rounds... 1st round.... ok... 2nd round... oh no... de right side of my ribcage started 2 pain like hell.. den... i cant stop.. neither could i run... so wad do i do? i carried on.. n cry in pain along de way... den reachin de grandstand.. i realli cant take it.. so i stopped...

Haish.. in my head.. i was like... scoldin myself lor... wtf sia... i m so damn useless lorx... haish... N i tink i cried bcos i feel like.. hopeless?? haish...

Den.. i took a rest.. N i tink de seniors ar like tinkin... wa lao.. tis ger realli noe how 2 geng sia... den dey were sayin 1 ger ran beri fast... her name is Yin Hui... she frm track & field team de... quite chio neh... den. i ran agn... despite de stingin pain... i carried on....

Den... after de 3rd round... Irene pei me run!! So good sia.. i was damn touched lorx.. but de pain was like... killin me.. so i kept quiet all de while.. den once de pain was like jabbing at my ribcage.. den i like.. argh.. den she say ok? den i gritted my teeth & nodded.. den she say.. U ar 1 tough cookie.... N we carried on...

Den after de rounds... we proceed 2 de Chin-ups bar there & we did inclined & sit-ups....at de incline station.. i did 20 in 30 sec.. shockin.. in de past i could barely do 4. den.. sit-ups... in 1 min i tink.. i did 40... wow... unexpected too... lolx... mux thank my mom sia.. she trained me when i was young... skippin... sit-ups... cos i was beri chubby in de past... den she wanted me 2 slim dwn... so she controlled my diet... make me skip 100 at 1 go.. do sit-ups at nite.. wa... hell sia...

But oh well... back 2 de trial. den... do 60 push-ups... N it was no easy feat i can tell ya. u realli hab 2 perservere lorx.... cos after 30... u like.. wanna jux pengz le lorx...

Ok la.. me gtg rest le... damn tired sia...

*I dunno abt u... but i tink.. i m sick of being silent...

Shoppin Spree

2005-01-23T22:00:00.000+08:00

2dae went 2 queensway... wib bird. den mit mummy there... hahax.. we wore de same white giordano shirt... hahax... den.. she bought 1 pair of adidas shoes... den me kip lookin 4 de taekwondo Adidas shoes...

Sian diao aftr tryin dem.. cos my feet too big la... den.. haix... doesnt look nice lorx... den in de end.. saw tis pair tat has open heel... den gt 3 stripes of pink... bird at 1st say nice... den after i tat i tried... eh.. nt bad leix... its comfy lorx... cheap too... cut frm 99 to 60+... hahax... but den.... sad la.. doesnt realli suit me.. cos nt sporty enuf barx... kekekx.. wad i implyin sia... *wiNkx*...

Den.. took bus back 2 Commonwealth MRT stn. den went Orchard.. Far East Plaza... den shopped there.. tried loads of tops... but den... wa lao.. headache sia... den nv bought ani lorx... jux bought 1 hipster skirt.. no brand de la... but comfy & its nt bad lookin.. so.. i bought it... qt cheap too.. 20+ nia... i tink at Bugis horx.. nid at least 30 lorx.... lolx.... dunno la...

kIsh... toOk neos wib birdy at Far East... kIsshh... so cute sia... lurve it... but nxt time mux b more alert.. hahax..

Hmm... dunno how 2 do de Chem qns sia... sian diaox... tot Chem my strongest sc sub... den... aiyo... but mux start concentratin le la... lolx.. cos distracted by tat shuai ge ma... kekex....

Ok la... me update till here le... Niewayx ar... dis skin looks so much betta le rite?? kIsh...

*Goin out wib pple of same frequency is cool!!

Open Houses

2005-01-20T23:22:00.000+08:00

2dae went to 2 poly openhouses... 1st is Ngee Ann.. den de last is Nanyang... de onli ting tat attracted me was their cafe.. lolx... oh well.. tats beside de point...

Niewayx... 2dae tricked ly.. abt me & langa steadyin. lolx.. but i noe she wun belif it nieway.. cos we ar like.. so incompatiable.. hahhax...

dEn 2dae gt go Chem lab.. de pipette & burette totalli diff frm Kranji de... n de pipette tingy so damn cute!! lolx... den de relief tcher oso qt cute la...

ok... tink no more 2 update le.. so.. me gonna go hit de sacks le..

Oh ya... jux changed my skin agn... pls gif comments.. cos i feel like... abit.. dun suit me.. diaox...

*Standin on crossroads rite nw... Which path shld i take?

To Be Hurt, To Feel Lost,

To be left out in the dark

To be on de edge of breakin dwn

When no one's there 2 save u

Well u dunno wad its like

Welcum to my life

wad de fook...

2005-01-19T21:43:00.000+08:00

stupid pple began wib stupid tots...

N stupid tots flew in2 my head..

m i stupid enuf?

haish...

i feel like disappearing...

Canoe...?

2005-01-17T20:49:00.000+08:00

So far... hab 2 canoe trainings.. Althou de 1st one is more xiong dan 2dae's... i ran faster on de 1st trng.. wonder y... hahax... guess my stamina realli is nt gud...

Dun tink ur wanna noe de details la.. will bore ur 2 death de.. lolx... Okiex.. will move on 2 chalet..

Hmm... tiNk it sux.... ya... but i m in no position 2 say la.. cos i nt part of de class ma.. but.. i tink it wld b more fun if its at Pasir Ris de lorx... yUpx..

Went 4 dupin outin on Sat.... 2 Sentosa.. it was realli fun!! I arrived late wib Bird... cos we went searchin 4 tings at de Harbourfront shoppin centre... den reached there... changed 2 a black racer top N went in2 de water... wow.. long time no swim le sia...

Den went join de Kranjianx... Den day started de tai ji quan & stuff... hhax.. den after tat went cyclin.. lolx.. no la.. is John tempung me la.... wa.. dat guy damn skill sia...

den after tat.. me & bird go n di siao Fahmi & vincent.. lolx... bird showed dem her skills in FORTUNE-TELLING usin de poker... hahax... den dey called her Shimu... lolx.. den after tat Bird dey all hafta go back 2 de Chalet.... sian diaox... cos 05S04 onli left me de onli gal!! Sian diaO!! Nvm... hahax.. coS sTill haf joHnny..hahax..

Den we played Captain's ball... by 1,2,1,2... den me. Firda. Meow. kiong. JJ. Fahmi. Valla. de tall guy hu sit when when ball's cumin. Mindy. Wendy. hmm.. tink dat's abt all la... den we played cheat alot. cos de catcher owax go out of circle den say is in front of tree blah blah.. lolx... Den gt tis JC2 ger.. dunno wads her name thou.. at 1st she owax fall dwn!! haax.. den de landin position all sama de.. hahax.. so cute sia...

Den after tat sat on de beach N gt roasted... dun carex abt de consequences.. haha.. den took some pics... hehex.. hope dey ar nice...

Den after bathin... i hab no more shirts... onli de spag... den still hafta cary de Ripcurl bag.. sian diao... den gt tis senior.. call Valla.. hahax.. so gud.. lend me his jersey... den behind gt VallaBah... sianx diao.. but nvm.. its comfy can le..

Den go eat dinner wib family.. celebrated Derrick's burfdae... den went back Chalet in Langer's dad's car.... hahax...

Okiex... no more 2 update le..

hmm... i tink i m nt followin my own rules... so.. i will try 2 stay focused... N endure de hardship... cos i noe if i try... i can do it de... lolx

*Feel like my heart is goin de wrong way...

wAssup?

2005-01-13T18:33:00.000+08:00

hEyhEy... lOng tiMe no bLog le... tHese few days feel like i haf no LIFE... haiSh.. y neh? Cos hor... i everyday go sch.. go work.. reaCh home.. sLp.. N de nXt day oSo lidAt... nv c my family for 2 days straight sia....

Well.. 2dae no work until Sun.... yestday kana lectured by m'am... quite serious la... cos she look quite fierce la... den she terminating ppLe lorx.. n i tink i m one of de pple la.. oh well... i karn do anitin rite...

Ok.. nw 2 HAPPy tings... i finalli gt a haircut!! hahax.. bAobAo say styLo nEh... den dey say quite ok la.. so... hahax... okok lorx... but i realli like my fringe... cos nw feel so much fresher!! hahax.. but i still dunno how 2 style la...

hmm.. den... ermx... me recently saw tis shuaige.. hahax.. to me la... in Shan's class de... hahax... Guys.. i onli find him good-lookin.. nth more okiex?? hahax... N he say hi 2 me 2dae!! hahax.. But he's 1 lazy but smart boy la.. slp in class but can still noe wads goin on.. lolx..

Ok.. movin on 2 lessons... Hmm... i can conclude tat.. it realli is sianx la... i realli feel like zzz lorx... ahhax.. but i tink de most interestin lesson is Maths la.. cos de time realli flies past neh.. hhahax.. den yestday John's hp kana confiscated.. lolx... nvm.. history le...

Oh ya.. n i went 4 touch rugby tryouts yestday!! Althou it realli sounds complicated... when u play hor.. its realli fun lorx!! Realli!! hahax... but i still damn blur la.. nVm.. hahax..

Hmm... i guess tats all barx... go makan N relax le... N ermx...lastly... i realli miss u guys... Muax!

*Heart feels empty... haish...

Fockerised

2005-01-10T22:37:00.000+08:00

2dae went 2 watch Meet The Fockers wib j3m5.. so funni sia de show!! hahax... but den.. hmm.. i dunno y la.. but... nth seem so funni 2 me niemore.. haix..

i dunno y... i jux dun feel as hyper ever since Os ended..dunno y oso... jux feel like... haix.. dunno la!! hahahx...

Mayb cos i feel so unsure abt so mani tings barx.... feelings.. friendships.. schools... haix.... sometimes i hope tat i can b a deaf like Muhsin.. at least.. i dun hab 2 hear anitin abt anitin... n can eben pretend i cant hear some tings... But.. i noe.. i shld jux count my blessings....

Haix... feel so down... but i dunno how 2 pick myself up...

somehow.... a piece of de jigsaw puzzle is missin... but where do i find it? How do i find it? Argh!

i m lazy to do anitin.. i cant eben use my brain 2 help my bro solve his cloze passage.... argh~

hAIX.... Wad de hell man... can i hab a microscope? i wanna c tings in a clearer view...

*Confused....

Last day...

2005-01-07T23:13:00.000+08:00

2dae is de last day of orientation... even as i m writin... i can still feel de *high* atmosphere in de sch hall jux nw as we danced de MASS DANCE.... oh god... So SHIOK sia....

2dae aft quite sianx lorx.. cos we jux walk walk... den look 4 those damn CLUES... which ar jux useless btw... lolx..

den come de interestin part... The Finale.. hahx.. i performed in a skit... den i m de HOST.... wib anader Swiss Cottage guy called Kumar... our skit is sth like de Singapore Idol... den i m a guy.. den Kumar is a ger.. hahax.. he eben wore stockings!!

mMm... wad can i say abt it neh... can say tat i quite enjoyed myself la... but de sad ting was... i looked damn fat!!! hahx.. no la.. de sad ting was... i dun look like a guy... hahax... but mux tank john la.. 4 lendin me de sunglasses.. den i look more like guy.. lolx..

Den... hmm.. we nt bad la hor?? hahx... but guess i covered up my nervousness pretty well.. hahax.. cos lilian dey all cant tell tat i m SO nervous... lolx.. nvm... good try.. N we did wonderfully!!! hahhx..

Den hor... i saw tis guy hu looked realli cool & handsome!!! hahax... he is de Dracula... hahax.. den we chatted abit... but i dun dare ask too much la... *shy ma... den can say tat he looked quite mature w/o his glasses... hahax...

Hmm.. 2dae feel abit sad.. cos gt someone.. c me le.. like.. abit bu shuang... haish.. guess i cant please everyone... i feel like sayin hi.. but den... i scared she diao me or wad... den.. 4get it lor.. haish..

Ok la... needa go catch some winks le...

*Hmm.. tinkiN & tinKin...

Quick update

2005-01-06T22:14:00.000+08:00

Well.. jux uploaded some pics... hehehx... nice rite??!?!??! hahhax.. cos its SANDY hu did it de ma... diaox.. hahax.. kk.. stop lamin..

Ok.. start wib de tings tat happened...

Well.. my class in S04!!! N it RoX!!! Woo!!! hahax... there's Baoxin.. john.. yuqian.. Candy... Mingjie in our grp!Wow!! hahax.. 5 kranjians in a grp sia... hehehx... N needless 2 say.... de most high pitched voices ar me & bao bao la.. lolx..

N de grp quite united la.... N my clan is Dupin!!! Dupin rox!!! hahahx.... i tink Dupins ar de one of de most enthu pple.... hahax... esp durin de Mass dance... we ar like... JUMPING all de while... lolx...

Ok... me shall end here N go catch my beauty slp... or else tml bcum 0_o... hahax... kk...

*Cross fingers... No cock-ups tml!!!

Funner dan yesterday..

2005-01-04T20:11:00.000+08:00

Is there such a word like funner?? lolx.. dun care...

well.. 2dae is full of interaction... hahax... me get 2 some new peeps... like Anita from Crescent... hahax.. we changed in2 our PE shirt in de cubicle!! Funni sia... but wib back facin each other la.. Duh~ N HuiShan from Unity... so on n so forth... but den.. hmm.. dunno leix.. feel like all paired up le neh... den me like... jux chap in lorx... lolx..

Hab our mass dance 2dae.. tink all sch oso lidat barx... hahax.. but ours is so much fun!! We gt de *funky* dance step.. hahhax.. so cool... den de music is fantastic... Jennifer lopez's Lets Get Loud.. hahax.... so alive.... n de OGLs ar so enthusiastic!!! Esp Natalie!! hahahx... thou she sure can crap... tok non-stop!!!

Den our OGL, Hadi... he damn humorous & lame lorx... n de other 2 OGLs ar gers.... Kim & dunno wads de other ger's name.. hahax.. dey teach us how 2 slack!! hahahx... so cute sia dem...

Den 2dae de RV & Chinese High bois gave me Margret & shawn a grp name... SSM... diaox... de initials of our names la... den lat we rearranged 2 SMS... lolx... so fun..

Tml confirm plus chop gt water activities de.. cos we ar required 2 bring extra shirts... lolx... tink its gonna b loads of fun!! hahax... But so condemned!! Tml gonna spilt le... sad sad... hahax... nvm.. tink gonna mkae new frenx agn... hahax...

Ok la.. update till here... gotta go pack my bag le... needa bring loads of stuff tml... lolx...

*Startin life afresh... without u by my side....

1st day in PJC

2005-01-03T21:19:00.000+08:00

2dae... 1st in in PJC... onli hab 1 word... Sianx....

We sat in de hall de whole day.... i tink de onli *entertainment* is frm Natalie lorx.. de programme ic.. she was so lame.. hahax... ok.. i noe i easily entertained.... but!! she is beri lame lor... so.. hahax... mux like... show enthusiasm ma.... lolx..

Then... went Bugis... gib m'am de schedule.. den bought de eye glue while waitin 4 Hedi... den we took neos... haahx... so fun n de machine quite cool sia.... can choose 2 hab special effects when takin de... den gt 1 photo she wrote Seoul garden rawks... den gt 1 say.. we rule... hahhax... Nice!

ok la.. update till here... tada!

*Whishing upon a star.... tat u ar tight in front of me.. shining..

these few days

2005-01-02T16:44:00.000+08:00

yestday went Orchard... watched KungFu hustle.. nt bad la de plot.. nt as lame as i expected... thou i wld haf preferred Meet The Fockers. lolx... but mummy cant make it ma... so nxt time barx! haahx...

but den me expected more laughter... more funni moves.. hahax.. mayb i expect too much le barx.. but den Stephen Chow realli nt bad lookin sia... lolx...

Den we went borders.. joan bought a bk... den after tat we went Bugis 2 eat at my workplace... lolx... at 1st tat Farid nv gif me 20% discount sia.. me tot m'am dun like me.. cos farhan told me las time he & noris eat no nid pay 4 free-flow... oni paid 17 in all... erle.. den me abit no mood 2 eat sia..

Den after awhile... de 3 of us..bird, joan & me.. we started playin wif de food.. lolx... me barbequed leather jacket usin de Korean sauce wif de Shark Fish..... yummy... hahax.. n joan realli liked it..

N i can finally eat the yummy ice-cream tat i hab been waitin 4 so long!!!!!!!!! lolx... me an ice-cream finatic... jux tt i scared tat i will gain wt den i dun dare eat.. but yestday i eat until siao!! lolx..

Den when i leavin... m'am counted agn... den gif me back some $$... hahax.. i hab discount after all... N i gt my pay!! haahx.. frm 1st of dec to 15th dec.... nearly 500.. mai hiam bei pai.. hahax... den.. i so happi!! realli beri beri happi!! i was like jumping n jumpin!! hahx.. den 1 couple c me like siao lidat... hahax.. dun care.. i was over de moon!!

Den.. we went 2 Edge. n bought Jems de bracelet... all 4 of us hab 1... n i paid dem la.. den too bad.. mummy nt ther 2 c it.. lolx.. N...*bird.. u ar unique. ok? dun let it bother u so much har...^winkx^*

2dae went 4 de meetin tat started at 9... den me realli dun feel well sia... cough... flu.. sorethroat.. slight diarrhoea.. slight fever... me asked 4 off... den gt 1 ger replaced me... AFter tat... hang out wib de malay guys... hear dem tok tok... den dey go town.. me go home.. n slept 4 arnd 4 hrs...

Wa. lucky at de lrt there hor.. gt 1 old woman hu's de cleaner la... she gave me an umbrella... quite lok kok... but still can shelter me... hahax.. den me wun b drenched... or else.. hahhx.. tml no nid go sch le.. *thanks!! althou she cant c it...*lolx

*i jux hope tat... everitin is alrite...

New yr's eve...

2004-12-31T20:35:00.000+08:00

2dae went 2 pay de rest of my Levis jeans... but sad ting was... there was a 20% discount at Bugis de Levis shop!! BUT nt at jurong pt de.. so sad.. but nvm la... 20+ onli... hahax.. me optimistic...

Nieway... 2dae was damn busy at de restaurant... by 2+... de whole place was full house... n so sao xing.. me fell sick!!! argh... i hab a runny nose N a sore throat...den sometimes i feel quite giddy.. sia la... of all days... hahax...

Den in de mornin... i saw a beri cute guy!! hhax... he hab tis cool look... his nose beri nice... nt flat.. nt too high... his face de shape is pointed.. nt beri angular... yang guang nan hai.. den he quite muscular... thou onli abt 5cm taller dan me.. lolx... den i tink he came in2 de MRT at bukit batok... den when we board de train 2 pasir ris... i leaned against de glass... den he grab de pole... hahax... den de some pple tot we couple.. cos dey saw us standin in tat kinda position den dey like whisper whisper... lolx...

Den later gt space opp me.. he jiu lean against de glass.. den i kip starin at his reflection.. hahax.... me hua chi rite? hahax.. but realli lor.. he's de 1st guy whom i noticed until lidat lor.. hahax.. he alighted at Raffles place.. den b4 tat i hab tis wishful tinkin tat he might ask 4 my tel number.. kekekx... siao liao la me... hahax.. dun bother abt me...

2dae me wore a skirt back home... den Padli was like.. U wear skirt ar?!?!?!??! Sia la!! i nv c u wear skirt sia!! hahax... den i was like... -_-" .. its's jux a skirt!!! hahhax.. guys wil b guys...

Ok la... me stop here le... go watch tv.. eat medicine.. i beri guai.. stayed at home... hahx..

*Happi New yr!! n Pull ur ears!! hahx..

Pep talk

2004-12-31T01:46:00.000+08:00

2dae m'am gave me a pep talk... which was... hmm.. abit disheartening at first la...

Well.. she started by sayin abt my bad tings... oh well..basically its abt my bad points la.. she say in chi... tat i like to play... like to talk... n i m stil quite slow... haix... den i kip noddin my head la... n de other staff were like.. wonderin wad happen... kip lookin at me when dey walked past us la...

Den she say.. i gib u 2 weeks... If after 2 weeks n u haben improve... u will get out of my restaurant.. i dun wan 2 waste my time... n i dun wan u 2 waste ur time...

i could onli.... nod...

Den... finished de pep talk... i talked 2 her abt me.. personal stuff...

i say frankly tat i jux go 2 jc 2 experience.. play... cos i plan 2 go jc... den i add.. if u wan me 2 work in de mornin... i can pon tat day.... she was like.. Har? can lidat de ar? den i say.. no la... i tink tis way la...

wad she said after tat made me feel like cryin sia...

"U noe... if u can study... u shld study... but i can tell u..Jc life is no joke... if ur mom dun wan u 2 go poly... tell her n make her understan... eben thou i would like ur help.... but if ur can help me eben 4 jux 2 days per week... i m beri happi alrdy... If u can study.. grab de chance... i wanna study but cannot... den i start 2 regret..."

After hearin tat.... i was realli realli.. touched... n i tink she gave me tis tok bcos in de aft.. i was slow in followin her orders... den she abit bu shuang... ya...

I tink ar... its time i m serious in my work le la.. its like.. 1 month alrdy leix... n i m still... playing... slackin.. every day like wanna die lidat... ya... so.. frm nw on... i m gonna make improvements...yup...

Ok.. nw came de Frustrations.. there's tis idiotic guy named LAWRENCE... he's a damn FI... hu hab a damn sucky attitude... n 2dae... we ar partners at de Buffet counter.. dammit sia... he's messy... tink he's handsome*BleaX bleaX!!!!*... n he is so damn chian bian!!

He snatched away my trays... n he knocked trays on2 me WITHOUT an apology but ended wib sarcasm!! FI sia!! I was like so damn pissed off lorx... i threw tings loudly... den i tink 2 myself.. dun embarass myself... later customers tink i de attitude 1... den its like.. SO BEK CHEK lorx...!!!

Breath in... breath out.. ok.... i m nt gonna make myself age myself by makin myself UPSET over tis kinda guys... so.. ok... de nxt time i c him.. i will onli ignore him... yes...

*I feel tat i realli hab grown up... i nv could tolerate scoldings in de past... but 2dae... i jux listened... N nod... n i din eben make faces!! lolx.. Jia you, Sandy!!

i luv u mum

2004-12-27T23:19:00.000+08:00

Jux hab a chat wib mum... abt tis small family... N i can understan wad ah mao is goin thru in de past...

Basically... its like... we hab these 2 MCPs in tis house... namely.. my dad & my elder bro...

My dad 1st....

Haix... i m realli disappointed wib his change... in de past.. he will bring us out durin his free time.. like go kite-flyin.. cyclin... c movies... nw.. he rather go spend his fuckin $$ on soccer bets... on alcohol.. on cigaretts... haix... n poor mom... dun hab enuf $$ 2 buy de tings she like...

On Christmas eve... did he spend time wib my mom despite my mom's request 2 go out? no... he receive 1 call frm his fuckin frenx n off he went 2 spend his fuckin money...on beer... on supper.... leavin my mom at home.. in tears....

N on christmas day... he drank wine & beer.... stupid sia... n threw up.... hu cleaned up 4 him? haish...

My bro...

bcos of his fuckin party... he gt himself sick.. n pass de virus 2 de whole family... n on de day itself... hu cleaned up de mess after him? hu make sure every1 is happi.. n comfortable? my poor mom... before de party.. hu called all de relatives? hu called de caterer? hu booked de function room? my poor mom... haix...

i realli dun understan... its jux.. 21 yrs old wad... y make a mountain out of a molehill?? haix.. i dun wanna say anitin in front of him la.. de conversation is jux betwn me & mom... but luckily la.. my bro is filial... bought a bag 4 my mom durin her bdae... gave her $$ when he's workin... but.. he shld realli jux organise de whole ting himself la... oh well.. like wad my mom say... sa long as he's happy...

after tat... i retreat 2 my room n cry silently.. i jux feel so damn guilty. thruout de entire conversation... i can c tat my mom is near tears... jux tat she held dem back.. den finalli.. i cant hold on niemore... n i closed de door n jux let de tears fall..

Haix... i noe my dad is lidat... he raher spend his money on idiotic tings.. dan on us.. he rather gib his money to his family... dan ours... haix... wad de hell man...

I noe i mux kip de job.... 4 de sake of my mom.. i m gonna grit my teeth n push on... haix... jux feel tat... i m so useless... nv life a finger 2 help her in housework b4.. nv make an effort 2 call home b4 she does.. nv ask her how's her day b4... never... celebrate festivals wib her ever since i was 15... haix... i jux feel like i hab neglected her all tis while... until she told me all tis.... i nv knew... she hab suffered so much...

i lurve u mom... u rox...

*solli guys 4 de Father word.. i promise tis is de last...

Sentosa...

2004-12-27T20:38:00.000+08:00

2dae went Sentosa... wib cheese.. jason.. terence.. mummy.. bird & yuling...

Hmm... it was realli a beri relaxing day 4 me... i was like... baked under de sun... & played abit in de water... hahahx.. fun day...

Den de 4 gers wore spag... hahax... eben my hubby worx... hehehx.... den mummy inside wore BiKini!!! 0.0...it was mine actualli.. hahhax...

Den we took photos.. n de one tat has me & mummy on my phone is great!! i lurve it!! hahahx... so yang guang... lolx...

After tat we went Westmall... lim kopi... but tis time mummy drink Cafe Mocha.. hahax.. *bird.. if u realli ar sick of ice blended mocha.... try vanilla or choc nxt time... lolx.. *

Den we went 2 BBQ express... hahhax... den we bought bbq chicken... hahx.. cheap sia... N taste fantastic!! hahax.. nxt time go there mux eat!! tink Westmall becomin our fav hangout place...hahax...

Hmm.. dunno y horx.. i gt tis beri bad feelin sia... yestday damn suay... spilled de water tat i mopped... 3 times somemore... diaox... damn smelly.. haix.. i was like.. sian diao aft tat... den later gt shuai ges come in2 our restaurants den i feel better.. hahahx.... O.O...

Well.. gotta go rest le... feelin a it.. shagged...

*haix.. new yr is comin... good or bad neh...? wadeva barx...

Christmas Day...

2004-12-26T01:09:00.000+08:00

2dae ish my elder bro's burfdae... den its machiam family get 2geder lorx... cos me bro hab a buffet.. den invited de whole family... 2 sides de.. N his frenx lorx... den.. hmm... quite fun la.. cos gt cute cute de cousins... hehex... N loads of cute guys... hahax. my bro's army frenx..

Den whn i reach home... it was arnd 7.. den every1 hab gone downstairs 2 de function room... hahax.. i hab de WHOLE house 2 myself!! den me enjoyed de few min watchin TV... Powerpuff gers de cartoon wor!! on disney channel.. lolx...

den arnd 7.30... me make my way dwn... cos stomach protestin le... den as usual... there will b comments abt me.. *shakes head*... but dey ar good de la... hahax... *grinz*... den... took pics of my cute lil cousins... hehhex... den hab a nice chat wib my couzzie... N de food was great!! hahhax...

But den... de frustratin ting was tat.. relatives kip askin me abt de poly tingy agn... diaox... its my future lorx.. nt theirs... haix.. den me jux whispered 2 Couzzie.. lets go away.. i dun like tis...

In de daytime.. went work... den me late by a few min.... but nvm la... cos gt pple help me start settin up le... hehex... den 2dae Padli asked me... I gib u de KITCHEN can anot? den i was like... har? wad kitchen? u wan me 2 prepare de food ar? hahax.. den he say agn... den i was like... Kitchen? hahax.. den he eh.. no.. wad kitchen... de KEYCHAIN... lolx...

Den of cos i say i lurrve it la... cos its a dolphin!! hahax.. so happi... den i was like.. smilin & smilin lorx...

Well... if u pple tink dat i hab feelins 4 him.. ur can 4get abt it ok... me jux treat him as an abang... *brudder*.. lolx... cos.. can c tat he treat me like a sis oso la... ya...

oh ya... 4got 2 say abt YESTERDAY... Christmas eve... lolx. went Bugis & Orchard wib qt ... den me like goin 4 shoppin spree.. ehehx... bought 2 shirts... 1 Billabong de & 1 Puremilk de... so happi... *clapz* & 1 belt frm 77th street... i lurve de buckle!! hahax.. den we met Wendy & shujun at de Tangs too!hahax.. wished dem merry xmas... lolx.. N a happi new yr.. kekekekx

N i spend agn.... *shakes head*.... siao liao... kip spendin & spendin... somemore me paid a deposit 4 de Levis jeans tat i hab aimed le... gonna pay de rest nxt week... hahax.. so happi.. me no nid buy Chinese New yr de clothes le... mayb a skirt barx.. but oh man.. dun feel like spendin niemore...

Den arnd 8.. meet Cheeky & xueting... den we went Heerens 2 take neos... lolx.. 1st time take wib dem sia. .so happi.. & de effect is great!! hahax.. lurve de Santa Claus hats.... hahhx.. den we went walk walk.. along de way we so damn scared will kanna sprayed... den in de end is when we walkin back 2 de Somerset station den kanna sprayed de... hahax.. n its me most of de time... hahax...

Well.. hab fun durin this festive season... but jux a bit bored at some times.. cos everywhere i go... its couples.. diaox.. but nvm... i noe tat i hab GREAT frenx jiu enuf le... *grinz*....

*No more 4 me... i dun wan any more heartbreaks...

Butt open flower

2004-12-23T11:28:00.000+08:00

Wa laox.. yestday is like.... de worst day of my workin days.... i fell down the stairs to the kitchen.. N landed flat on my butt... sia la... Sakit*pain* sia... lucky it was onli.... 3 steps..?

But it when i slipped down 1 of de steps.. Reflex action took over... N i tried 2 lean back when i landed... N lucky... i jux landed on my fleshy butt N nt my HEAD... wa biang eh... it was realli damn irritatingly painful lorx... N lucky Padli was jux in front of me when i fell.. den he helped me up... tears were runnin down my cheeks alrdy.. but i was luffin N luffin.... dunno y la... lolx... den after tat.. i realised tat there was a searing pain on my elbow.. sia la.. gt a cut near my elbow... N there's blood... eeks.. den Padli was like.. Eh.. gt blood sia!!

Den i tel m'am... N i was luffin wif tears in my eyes... wa laox.. malu sia... nvm.. den she asked me go wash den i go wash liao she apply antiseptic cream & plaster....

Hmm... i m quite touched 2dae by de guys' concern.... Padli hor.. kip askin me if i m ok lorx.. den gt once he asked... My dear darling... U ok anot? Got anywhere pain? hahax... he scared i hurt my spinal cord.. den i jux reply... No.. my pantak*butt* nia... den Bazli oso kip askin if i m ok... hahahx... so touched sia!!!

N PAdli gave me a souvenir!!! hahahx... so happi... N it was a dolphin keychain!! Dolphin!! hahahx... i luv it so muchy.... hahax... cos tat time he sent me home ma... den he told me he goin malaysia... den i asked him 2 buy me a souvenir.. N he gave me!! hhahx... so good sia....

Haish... can feel tat de feeling i hab 4 him.. nt so strong le.. tat shows tat wif perserverance... i can get shake off de feeling i hab 4 tat person de worx... yupx.... N i noe tat de someone 4 me is waitin 4 me too... jux like i m...hehehex...

*Christmas is jux 2 days away!!!

So far... So good..

2004-12-22T01:10:00.000+08:00

i chAnged mY skiN!!! N i LuRve iT!!!jUx cliCk oN links oR tag 4 de naVigatiOn...

Heyx.. Sandy de GreAt is bAck.. Lolx... gt miSS moi, peeps?? hahax... so far.. at work.. everytin's great... N 2dae... i break my own record... i closed de buffet counter all by myself by 15 min earlier dan yestday's... Woohoo!!! N it was all by myself!!! usualli there's 2 pple de... but 2dae nt enuf pple... so i hab 2 handle all by myself.. wa... i dun eben hab time 2 drink water sia... but luckily.. i hab a great team behind me... haahx.. helped me do stuff.. or else i tink i gonna go bonkers...

Hahx.. hab a great luff wib Shan *Sg de* 2dae... hahax... eben she agreed tat her b**bs ar big.. diaox.... cos we discussin abt waist size.. den she say she looked quite *bloated* bcos of her b**bs.. hahhax.. so farni.. N after our work ended we were luffin like hell at tings we said... siao sia.. but 2 say de truth.. i beginnin 2 feel like shan's my big sista... she eben said tat if she go back Philippines N i wan go visit her.. its free of charge 4 me.. 4 ME!!! den i say i will go ther 2 buy Levis Jeans... hahax.. cos there de Levis jeans damn cheap.. den she say.. whn i work n i hab $$ i will send de jeans 2 u... So good rite??? wa laox... i was like.. chua dio lorx.. she's so nice 2 me!!

N i feel like i hab anader *brother* too... his name is Alim... he's a staff there la.. worked 4 arnd.. 3 yrs? nt sure la.. jux noe tat he worked 4 quite long le.. my senior.. N he taught me loads of tings.. realli... a lot... he taught me how 2 cut fruits... hahx.. Watermelon onli la.. cos tat day onli hab tat.. N de handlin of de buffet counter... so on n so forth.. but den ar.. he beri wad sia.. kip ka jiao me.. den kip callin me kaixin kaixin.. cos i told him i like swimmin ma... den he say.. u tink u shottin The Champion ar... hahahahhx... diaox sia... den on Sun.. i was qt quiet in de mornin.. cos i still sufferin frm my heartbreak ma.. den he kip askin.. Y u so quiet... den i was so shocked lorx... cos onli he can tell tat i was quiet!! Lolx... den i dun wan say la... later he go tell him.. den how??

Den yestday... i was damn noisy lorx... cos he kip ka jiao me.. den i was like... whining & sobbin... hahax... fake de la.. cos gt once or twice he act serious sia.. N i was like.... So shocked... den i will like... put on a sad face or wad... den kip quiet.. den he wil say.. Eh.. jux jokin la.. hahax.... den i will say.. i noe..hahax..

Oh ya.. N i saw Atiqi yestday!! Sia la!! N he is workin too!!! sia la... rich boy leix.. WORKIN... hahahax.. n he nida wear long sleeve... tie.. 2 work somemore... ahahax.. so unbelievable sia... den i was like... Wa laox!! Cant belif tat u workin sia!! ahahx... but whn i met him he was jux wearin his long sleeve shirt la...

haix.. he seem so preoccupied these days... N he literally slept durin our break time... n most of de times.. he was sms-in.. his gf i suppose... haix... i dun c his smiles so often niemore.. haix.. wonder wads wrong wib him..? But i dun feel like knowin too.. cos de more i noe.. de deeper i m fallin..? I dun wan 2 tink abt him so much le la... i mean... its like.. in de end... de ne hu is hurt is me lorx.. yupx... so.. i will jux treat him as a normal fren.... i noe i will stop likin him someday... hahax... cos i noe i will get 2 noe more guys nxt yr.... hahahx... N perhaps more lookin dan him too.... hahahx.... no la... i mean... Fate la... if its meant 2 b urs... it will b one day or anader de la... hahahx..

Hmm..whn i received my pay... i will spend de 1st 100 on Levis jeans.. confirm wib a chop... hahhax... cos i dun wan bell bottoms niemore!!! hahx... no la.. cos i work so hard.. mux splurge once in a while ma... hahax...

Tats all folks.. i will blog anader time.. mayb durin Christmas... so.. hereby.. Wish all u peeps.. Merry Christmas!!! N a happi new yr!! hahhax...

*N u too.. hope can c ur smiles more often!! =)

My plans.. heehx

2004-12-19T01:49:00.000+08:00

Well.. i hab calculated how much i hab earned so far.... N i was so darn happi after i hab calculated... i hab earned over 500 bucks... woohoo~.. kekex.. so happi...N its like... 18 days...? wa... hopefully.. can get 1000... hehex.. den i damn happi le.. wahahax..

Hmm... i hab decided... i wil put aside some $$... hehex... i plannin 2 go Australia nxt yr.. alone... to visit my relatives there... arnd May... if i hab earned enuf $$ la... i cant possibly ask my parents 4 $$... Den go ther... spend.. for my own pleasure de lorx... its jux... hmm.. nt rite lorx... yupx...

And guess wad... i received de Eagles award.... cool sia.. 150 bucks.. nt bad nt bad... ehehx... can pay 4 my hp.. hahax..

2dae quite busi at de restaurant... cos Sat ma.. but de weird ting was.. it was less crowded dan on a Friday... *scratch head*... Den me n anader ger at de Buffet counter.. den we hab 2 be fast... b it toppin up de food or changin de food... den at de end.. we took out de metal grille... N i almost ~~vomitted~~... Bleax sia... de ~~rottin~~ food & vege ar stuck there... N i hab 2 clean it... ohmygod... i was like.... Bleax~ hahax... but nv vomit la.. or else hab 2 clean double le.. lolx...

Tml workin full time.. yea... tat means xtra cash 4 me... heehx... but nw at buffet counter nt bad la.... cos no nid 2 c customers' faces... as in...those dat realli beri unreasonable de la... cos everytime hab 2 tolerate dem ma.. hahax... well.. some ar beri cute la... like me... *bleax*.. haahx...

So far.. i haf gt plans 4 Christmas Day... but nt 4 Christmas Eve.. lolx.... N if i din c wrongly... i get de Silent Night off... wooHoo... hhax... Lame..

I wan go drink Coffee Bean!! i wan drink ice blended mocha!! Lolx... bird.. u readin..?? hahax..

*i m lettin go... bit by bit... hopefully... u will find ur happiness soon...

Still good frenx...

2004-12-16T20:07:00.000+08:00

hehehx... 2dae we went walk walk arnd Bugis agn.. so happi... *clapx*.. eben thou i noe tat he hab gf.. de way we tok.. hmm... cant realli c tat he hab.. thou his smiles ar less frequent nw... hmm... n i n de mornin... we abit awkward.. nv tok... but after tat.. still orite orite.. still gt poke poke.. hahax... farni sia...

Den.. 2dae beri buai song...as in... me nt feelin well.. ahax.. den sad sad lidat... den Noris-my senior.. ask me.. y u look so glumpy...? Den i cough cough.. den say..Sick.. den she.. Ohh... hmm...2dae she showed me 1 ex-kranjian de photo.. wa.. cute seh.. a malay la.. den frm NCC de.. called.. hmm.. i 4gt le.. lolx...

Well... a few days ago.. i jux learned tat my collleague.. Shan...her name in Fillipine.. it means Fish... hahax.. Shanny... u lookin?? Lolx... dEn... 2dae kana knocked on de fridge... den my leg gt orh ba kat sia... saket sia... in Malay.. it means pain... wa laox..

Lucky 2dae is Sir Alil... cos me kip noddin off... tired ma... or else if its M'am Sharon.. siao liaox... she sure deduct my pay de... she ar.. Fucked up sia..

Den tml he will b wearin a tie neh... wa laox... sure damn handsome de lorx.... hahax... ooooh~ Mux remind him 2 take photo of himself... hehehx... cos hE needa b at de ceremony ma... hahahx... if onli i can c him tml... hmm...

Well.. tml is my off day agn... wonder wher i will go.. hahax...

*i m tinkin of u... i dunno if we eben hab a chance 2 b 2geder.. but.. i jux m glad.. 2 b ur fren..

Slacking day

2004-12-15T23:15:00.000+08:00

Hey all.. 2dae is a slack day 4 me.. cos i gt de day off!!! hahhax.. too bad mummy still workin.. n althou we called some peeps.. there's onli me & my hubby.. kekex... great day i hab,birdy.. thx...

well.. we went 2 Lot 1 firx.. N.. i gt another ear piercing!!! de 3rd on my left ear... i wil wait 4 1 more week.. N get nother on my rite ear... yupx.... i noe dyin hair is more of a waste of $$.. cos scali de 1st 3 mths tat i went to cant accept it!! Diaox rite? hahx.

Den we went 2 buy SweetTalk de bubbletea.... kekex.. so nice... den went 2 CoffeeBean N bought de usual... hahhax.... N i still m left wib 5 more stamps!! hahax.... so cool.. luv CoffeeBean @ westmall de... Lot 1 de nt nice....

Den..went 2 my hse.. N hab a movie marathon.. diao.. hahx.. no la... saw 2 movies nia.. nt counted... we saw *i m sam* & *ocean 11*.. nt bad... de *i am sam* bEri touchin... yuPx... once agn.. thx bird....

After i sent Bird home.. i dunno y.. i kip tinkin of him.... N i literally ran all de way hm whn de tears threaten 2 fall.. in my lsippers.. no less... i still cant get over de fact tat.. there's some1 sharing his life wib him... N i m nt de one.. N.. i m one of de gers hu like him... haix... wad 2 do.. he's god damn it de handsome... haix... i dun wanna interrupt his life... i dun wan 2 play wib him niemore... i dun wanna face him niemore.. But.. i jux wanna c him... eben thou he mite nt eben wanna look at me...

Oh ya.. tis my new skin!! Like it?? i lurve it.. hahx.. THX bird...

*i dunno wad u r tinkin... but i dun wanna noe niemore...i jux hurts....

Stupid Idiot

2004-12-15T01:01:00.000+08:00

de idioti m referin 2 is at my workplace de... she is my Manager la... big shot la... N her butt too... Idiot sia she... haix...she dunno wads de meanin of *jiang hai shi lao de la*. as in... de longer u work.. de more experienced u ar... She ar... F**ker sia... realli lor.. i dun wan 2 say de word one.. but it seems 2 b de most appropriate 4 her... Lolx.. God damn it..

Well.. these few days damn busy.. reach home 12+.. onli 2dae stil gt energy left cos tml i off!! hehex... so happi... N fri too.. Yea!

N i learned new tings!! hahx.. i guess i m qt a slow learner... or shld i say.. i m jux plain stupid... haix... wtf sia... haix... i tink i nida b hard-hearted sia.... haix.. me cant owax tink of helpin others le... cos i needa learn 2 help myself 1st.. haix... wtf's wrong wib me sia...

i dunno anitin rite nw... he has a gf aldy.. i dun wan 2 b de 3rd party.. i jux feel so sad... haix.. guess i like him too much.... N it seems like.. he will never like me in de future.. haix... whn i heard of him havin a gf... tears jux fall... we chatted on msn... den he told me... dun fall 4 me.. i dun wan U 2 get hurt.. N he told me he hab gf. i jux cried...i jux wished.. de ger is me.... haix... i dunno how 2 face him.. i m damn bloody scared... tings wil get awkward.... haix... if onli he's nt so joker.... at least. i noe he's serious whn it comes 2 certain tings.... i feel so sad... y m i feelin tis way?? i hate tis feeling!!! i hate it!! i dun 2 gib up... but i dun wan 2 waste my time on a guy i m nt supposed 2 like... but i cant seem 2 let of of tis one..

i need time i guess... 2 forget tat i eben like him b4... which mean.. i need 2 get 2 noe new guys!! Erpx.. Lolx... dun worry abt me guys.. i wil b de hyper self agn... i m sandy.. remem?

*fate seems to hab left us... i dunno abt u.. but i m still glad i hab once confessed my feelings 4 u

My 1st time...

2004-12-10T22:38:00.000+08:00

Its my 1st time sayin *i like u* 2 a guy.... yes... i hab finalli told him... wad i feel 4 him... N de gd ting was? we ar still foolin arnd... yupx.. i m so glad tings nv chng abit betw us....

Well... ur mayb curious how i told him barx...? haahx.. dunno how 2 say la... if ur realli wanna noe... hahax.. ask me personalli.. i wil try 2 explain... lolx...

N 2dae ish de 1st time... realli.. de 1st... i c him w/o his cap.... hahax... can onli say.. HE STILL LOOKED HANDSOME!!! Lolx... den i told him n he was like.... grinnin like siao lidat.... hahax.. cos he goin take photos ma... 4 de nomination of de Best Sportsman tingy la... den he carried a damn huge bag... N frm behind.. he looked like a sec sch kid.. realli... hahax.. so funni...

2dae came 1 new ger.. called Chen Xuan.. den u noe la.. my env all Malays de.. den dey cant pronounce de name Xuan.. den i was like... Nonono.. is Xuuuan... hahax... den M'am say call her CX.... lolx.. den she say.. nono.. is CS.. worse still cos it stands 4 *counterstrike*.. lolx... den in de end.. we call her.. Suan Suan... hmm.. to me.. she looked qt sweet worx.. but *he* say.. nt pretti.... hmm... stupid la him.. hahax...

Den 2dae gt tis guy called Padli... den we call him Pad... hahax.. i call him Bud... lolx... he sent me home... hahax.. nt realli home la... cos he got loads of time.. den we same 5 o'clock knock off.. cos dat Aidil la... idiot sia... say wanna change wib me... den he work aft.. i replace him at nite shift.. in de end he nv turn up 4 aft shift... den me oso dun feel like workin nite shift lorx.... den me & bud go off 2geder lorx... den on de way... we toked alot lorx.. abt SG... den de M'am... nth bad la... jux tat he say tat.. she mite b racist.. cos 3 malays hab been *terminated*.. which means giben de boot la.. den he is 7 yrs older dan me.. but he worked 4 two mths onli la... den... dunno leix.. feel like.. he like a big bro 2 me lorx... N he luff beri unique de.. hahax.... althou de feelin is totalli diff whn i m wib *him*.. heehx...

Den whn we reached Keat Hong... he bought cigaretts lorx.. den he asked me whr de nearest coffee shop.. den he asked me whr i lif... i dun realli wan dem 2 noe i liv in such a flat lorx.. cos its like... de impression i gib dem wld b like.... Har? U lif in tis kinda houses N u still work at SG? go there kill time ar? ... like... i go ther ~~play play~~ nia la... which i m nt lorx... well... hahax.. ya... den me brought him a long way 2 de Keat Hong Mrket place.. den along de way... he kip lookin at de teraces..den de road qt de ulu ma... den he kip mutter in Malay.. idiot sia.. i cant understan a ting!! lolx.. den he taught me some simple malay.. den whn we reached de Keat Hong Market place... i left him after tellin him 2 take bus 300.. hahax... den me went hm le lorx..

Well.. he sounds 2 b quite a mysterious guy.... there seems 2 b sth lurkin bhind his ermx... mature face la... he doesnt look beri old... N nt bad lookin la... althou nt as gd as *him*.. Lolx.. kk.. enuf enuf... den hmm.. can say tat.. me realli feel like.. Bud can b trusted la... althou he said 2 me once... Dun ever tink of me as de good guy.. i m a bad guy... yupx... i nv said tat he's good.. but nt some1 tat BAD either la...

We mit interestin pple at SG... i dunno y.. but i seem 2 b *fated* 2 b there la... cos i feel like.. we all 1 big family lorx... but i hope there's fewer pple applyin 4 jobs nw.. cos it will mean a higher chance of my seniors bein ~~sacked~~.. haish....

*Hmm... stil picturin u w/o a cap!! Lolx...

Happi + Sad

2004-12-10T01:49:00.000+08:00

I was happi.. realli realli... happi... bcos.. during our break.. we * me & him* went arnd de shopping centre N walk walk... haish.. eben thou it was like.. jux 5 min? i was realli realli beri happi... realli...

Den on de MRT... we msg each other.. i told him sth... haix. Dun say le... feel so.. NUMB? but no tears... Well.. i made a stupid mistake... i jux told him.. hey.. dun treat it so seriously.. i jux jk... my heart realli broke in2 a million pieces... i dun wan him 2 steer clear of me... i jux wan 2 c him... smile.. play play... so.. i lied.. i lied tat i din say wad i said was REAL.. haix.. how dumb can i get??

i realli dunno how he feel abt me.. haix.. but hmm... if onli he feel de same way abt me as i feel abt him.. but den.. hmm.. i guess.. i shld jux treasure de moments i hab wib him.. cos nxt yr... he's startin sch... i mite nt c him so frequently niemore... yupx...

well.. work 2dae is realli interstin.. i learned abt de BUFFET counter... its cool.. cos i learned some new stuff... but de de new Madam Sharon hor... damn strict but a nice person... but den i mux learn everitin tml all over agn.. which is qt sianx la... but den.. i noe its 4 my own good.. den.. nida b mentally prepared... yupx...

Den.. i nv knew my mom care so much abt me worx.. she actualli wiated me.. 2 reach home.. N she called nt once... but thrice whn i m on my way home... N whn i reahed home.. we toked tok lorx... she say tat my dad dun wan me 2 work until os late.. den i say... he gib me 500 bucks la... den she say.. ya lorx.. but den i oso worried abt ur safety... den so N so on... Well.... it seems like.. my daddy dun care abt my safety or wadsoever.. he onli cared abt his $$.... his cigaretts... his football matches... haix... dunno wad wrong wib him sia.. suddenli like.. so in2 gambling.. haix...

Well.. gotta go zZz le.. nitex all...

*Yes... wad i said was real...

My Dreams

2004-12-08T21:29:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. 2dae... i m gonna tok abt my dreams...

Well.. lets start wib childhood dreams... Hmm.. my childhood dream is 2 b a singer... lolx.. cos i realli luv singin... N fall in luv wib a beri handsome guy.. my prince charming... Den.. i guess its every lil ger's dream 2 b a tcher...? haahx... i remem me totterin arnd in my mom's clog shoes... hahax... den *teachin* pupils.. imaginary de la.. Lolx... yupx... tats my childhood dreams...

Den comes de.. more pro dreams... Well... i still wanna b a singer.. thou i wil realli hab 2 slim dwn 2 b one... cos nowadays it comes in a *package*... Lolx.. Den... i wanna b a paediatrician... i realli adores kids norx... yupx... den... i wanna b a swimmer coach... a female coach... which is beri rare in sg... yupx.. i beri ambitious horx... but den... i guess being one will face reallli great pressures... cos u noe.. most of dem ar GUYS... N women ar quite troublesome cos dey hab tis PERIOD of de mth tingy... Lolx... ya... these ar my dreams...

N nw... My biggest dream.... is 2 b successful in luv & in career...workin in SG realli made me reflect myself in life.. as in.. i live day 2 day... 4 wad??? Realli lorx... i bet most of my peeps ar experiencin tat too... well... 4 nw... my dream is 2 climb up 2 b a manager or sth tats of high rank in a company or corporation.. Anitin.. i figure i cant carry plates all my life... yupx... N.. i wanna b wib de one i luved so dearly too... One i cant live without.. yupx.. n we will b happi... N there can b no NGs... meanin... i will b veri beri certain.. he's de one i m fated 2 b wib... yup.. no divorce discussed.... well.. basically.. tats Sandy's dreams nw...

Some peeps asked me.. Isnt goin 2 poly somewad a waste? i noe wad dey mean la.. i mean.. Studyin triple sc is kinda of a priviledge la. but den.. so wad? i mean... BIO is practically useless lorx... Chem is more impt.. tats 4 sure... Moreover... i m tired of tis.. Academic tingy.. i wanna venture in2 more sophisticated system of learnin.. tats more practical too... yes.. i will continue 2 b hardworkin... but at de same time... i can adapt 2 de university kinda learnin system.. N if i work hard enuf... i can still get in2 a uni.. which is nt too bad le lorx... yupx.. N.. there's courses i wanna learn N m interested in learnin.. int tat a good ting? n i can learn at my own pace too.. JC is much much too fast 4 me... 1 n a half yrs later.. i sat 4 a major exam agn.. N in uni... i cant apply wad i learn in2 de courses i take in jc.. isnt tat of a greater pity N waste???

Hence.. i hab decided.. Hab ur?

*I feel happi jux being in ur presence. but sumtimes i wonder.. do u feel de same way? Lolx.. i guess nt la... i m nt hu u wanted...

Hmmm... hab i grown up?

2004-12-06T01:03:00.000+08:00

hehex... gonna take back my wad i said abt senior Fadzil.. hahax.. cos i tink wad he did yestday is jux 2 train ikan bilis like me lorx... den can bcum lobster nxt time... *managers!! hahhax*...

2dae ish a veri interestin day.. i kana tricked... by 2 handsome guys.. haahx.. cos i put my lighter at their table.. den when i turned arnd.. eh?! wher it gone har?? den after tat i go do my rounds.. den turn back.. its there... hahax.. den i um chio um chio lorx... hahax..

Den... gt tis family... gt a cute little 17 mth old baby boy... realli in luv wib him sia... he realli damn cute.. den de 1st time he kip smilin at me!! den i stopped N like winked at him lorx. den he realli kekex until beri happi sia... den after tat me do my rounds gt passs by de table de.. den de father say.. he kip lookin 4 u.. he realli like playin wib u sia.. den i kip smiling lorx. he make my day!! ahahahx... Den when he goin home... he kissed mE!!! oh me goodness!! So sweet norx.. den eben gt sound de.. hahax... i was realli damn happi liaox.. hahax..

Den 2dae gt 1 more senior cum.. called Farhan... he looked Chinese sia.. den everytime pass by him feel like faintin sia.. his cologne damn jia lat.. lolx.. but den he nt bad la... cos he realli nt bad lorx.. hahax.. den his gf is Noris... oso another senior... nv see her looks... but den gt hear tat she de best employee there... hahax.. hope can get 2 work wib her soon.. hahx..

Haix... dunno y.. eben thou we hab onli known each other for 2 days.... i seem 2 c *u* everywhere.. haix. wads happenin 2 me?? i dun seem 2 hab tis kinda ting in de past when i liked some guys.. but *u*!! oh me goodness.. is tis called... love? haix.. dunno leix.. jux seem 2 like everitin abt him norx.. haix.. but den.. i noe he wun like me de lorx.. haix... but i jux wanna c *u* so de beri much!!Argh!! i hope tis kinda feelin will fade soon... cos.. i cant seem 2 get u out of my mind... haix...

*One ting is 4 sure... i like u... realli..

Tekan

2004-12-04T23:58:00.000+08:00

Ka na sai sia... tat FIFI(Fadzil Is a FuckiNg idiot) 2dae tekan me sia... Kns sia... made me wipe table.. scrub table... made me damn stressed sia... wa laox.. he my senior.. so i mux respect him...? haix.. ya ya.. i noe i noe.. .but den.. he dun nid 2 do tat rite?? i mean.. Ertina oso my senior wad.. dun c her tekan me until so jia lat lorx.. haix.. wad de f**k la.. haix.. i jux kip quiet lorx.. den at de end of de day... i was so damn tired... my speed of walkin is like.. 0.1cm/s? lolx.. realli lorx.. i realli beri cham lorx..

But den.. i gave him tis nic.. FIFI.. wahhahax... den made me feel so much better.. N in my mind.. i kip picture *ur* smile... *ur* encouragement... haix.. how i wish tat u were there... so mani times!! haix.. haix... where u nw seh? realli realli feel like tellin u how i feel abt u.. but i m damn scared... realli scared tat u will walk out on me 4eva... haix.. wad 2 do? jux kp these feelings deep in my heart... haix... realli mish u sia..lookin forward 2 tuesday onli.. hehex... hope can c u everyday... but i noe its impossible de lorx.. haix..

These few days owax work until 1opm.. so sianx... but den nvm... its quite fun de neh... esp when there's kids arnd.. heehx... but den ar... 2dae realli beri sianx leix.. cos gt tat FIFI... haish.. lucky he tml nt workin sia.. or else horx... sure kana tekan until siao de lorx... bloody hell sia.. haha...

* i realli mish u!! Siaox...

T i r e d

2004-12-03T01:27:00.000+08:00

2dae... worked... from... 12pm-10pm... onli gt 1 word... T i r e d... Wa laox... 2dae nt considered weekend i tired alrdy.. tml leix?? haax... die liao lorx..

hmm.. de white capped guy hor... his name beri unique.. he is called muhsin... ermx.. 2dae den i found out sumtin abt him... he's actualli.. deaf... yupx... N he gt tis hearing aid.. den his speech nt beri clear... but his actions big big de. haahx.. 2 b understood barx... N he realli tok beri loudly!on de way home.. we sms each other.. cos he dun live in cck... N i asked him wad sch he came from.. de say from yishun ite.. blah blah.. den de sch b4 tat is serangoon sth la.. den he learned eng language at deaf pri sch.... hmm.. nv heard b4... lolx...

Well.. i learned tat.. i shld nv judge a bk by its cover... cos althou he looked handsome.. his handicapped... hmm.. well.. de gd ting is tat.. he's nt disheartened by it thou.. he's beri cherful!! Realli lorx... N he is beri joker de...hahhax... u c de way he expresses himself u can luff until stomach pain liaox.. den frm him i learn qt a lot of tings lorx.. ya... beri good hor?? hahax... tink i found my close guy fren le... hahax.. too bad la.. he muslim.. hahahx... *dun tink wai wai har..*

Mmm... den de food ish realli beri nice... hahax.. den gt tis guy.. i call him bus.. hahax... dunno how 2 spell his nama la.. but i tink i de onli one hu called him tat.. he left some pizza 4 me.. cos i c him cook until beri nice.. den it realli taste fantastic!! mayb i hungry la... but den.. ohmygod!! hahax.. N i learned how 2 erm... fill de fillings in a sushi... hehehx... de Bus N muhsin taught m de... hahax... at 1st muhsin dun wan de.. cos he scared later kana scolded.. *i onli worked 4 like... 2 days...? hahax..* But den dey taught me in de end.. hahx.. N boy! Issit tough work!! hahax.. realli... i hab 2 bend over de sushis... N put de fillin.. den wear gloves N a mask*like doctors de lidat* N its quite stuffy lorx.. hahax... hard work sia.. but den.. ok la... at least.. i learned sth new!!

hahax... den dinner time oso gt teppanyaki.. hmm... tink nida learn abt de controllin of fire N stuff... hmm.. hope can learn soon.. cos seatin pple at table is real tough work!! hahax.. N borin too.. hahax..

*K la.. say so much le.. nida go catch my beauty slp liaox... Ciao!

1st day at work

2004-12-02T09:17:00.000+08:00

yestday start work alrdy.... hahahx.. so qiao.. there gt one worker oso called Shan.. Lolx... den... mm... de env is eng-speakin & malay speakin lorx.. cos there's onli malays.. hahax... nvm la.. my eng okok.. so tok wib dem nt beri gang kor... diaox.. hahax...

Hehex... there gt 1 beri good lookin guy neh.. look abit like pierre png... n he's nt beri dark lorx... hahx... but i dunno his name yet... jux knoe him as de white capped guy.. hahax... Den me was taught how 2 set de tables... clear de tables... how 2 put de utensils... etc etc.. Well... its nt beri tough.. cos i onli worked 4 like... 2 & 1/2 hrs? haax.. cos most of de time i was walkin N walkin.. den do some PR... hahax... *people relationships*... cos all quite jokers de lorx... hahax..

At 1st when i walked in hor.. i sat dwn.. wait 4 de Asst. manager 2 finish wad he was doin... Den gt 1 guy waitin 4 customers 2 come alrdy.. den after tat.. he go in2 de restaurant.. N told everybody.. hahahx.. den i can c dem cum N go... den whispers... den gt 1 time damn funni.. dey went 2 de cashier there den 1 guy say... New staff... den he look at me n say... call sandy... DIAOX lorx.. den i like... um chio um chio lorx.. den de other guy say... ooh.. sandy...

Den later its like... dey spread my name arnd lorx... den de guy at de cashier hu told de other guy my name quite cute lorx.. feel like he beri brother lorx.. hahax... althou he's shorter dan me... den his voice damn cute.. Wahahhx... abit zhao sia zhao sia lidat de.. hhax...

Ok.. enuf abt my work... nw.. abt de Singapore Idol... Woohoo!!! Taufiq win!!! hahax.. i jux luv his mesmerizing eyes sia... so.... de can melt hearts sia... Ya.. i tink de fans of his will sure kill MRs Jones de.. hahahx... siao! Well.. i tink he has de looks.. de charisma... de VOICE... N definitely de Power... yupx... eben thou Sly's fans owax shout louder dan his fans... i know dat de pple watchin SI knows tat Taufiq is gonna b de winner lorx.. hahahx...N i voted 4 him!! hahhax.. his songs jux ROX ok.. haahx...

Hmm... realli feel abit nya nya sia... dunno y oso.. hahax...

*Hey.. i still haben enjoy life 2 de fullest yet!! Let me enjoy 1st la!!

Job hunting 2

2004-11-30T20:06:00.000+08:00

Hahahx.. 2dae went job hunting again!! siao... like so happi lidat... its nt fun ok!!! Lolx.. but den i jux acc mummy go find la.. nt i wan a job la.. i alrdy gt one le ma.. kekex...

Hmm.. we went Raffles City 1st... den walk wallk... stroll until 2.. cos de walk-in-interview at Robinsons start at 2... den we reached ther at and 12... sian diao.. den jiu go walk walk.. took pictures of de Pooh family.. hehehx... i gt a photo of tigger!! Woohoo!! So happi!! hahhax.. den we go eat... pizza worx.. hahhax.. so good... mummy treat me 5o cents.. kekex..

Den at 2... we went 2 de interview... den... de queue was like.. damn long alrdy... N we nida wait 4 a long long time lorx... den mummy dun wan le.. den we left lorx.. After tat.. we went Plaza Singapura.. after staring at de map of de MRT for like.. 3 sec? lolx...

Lucky we went there sia... there's alot of jobs!! pizza hut is employin pple.. Long john is employin pple... den some boutiques oso... luckily.... gt Cafe oso employin.. den mummy goin interview tml.. kekekx... lucky we went there sia... den we went Starbucks... my legs so *sour* sia.. den mummy drank ice blended Mocha... All i can say is.. Coffee Bean's Ice Blended Mocha is de best!!! hahax... realli... dun try McCafe de... SUX sia... wahahhax..

Den on de MRT back... we called Bird.. cos dey watched Shutter ma... den tink de movie ended quite early lorx.. tot mayb can go back 2geder.. we called dem when we at Marina Bay.. dey at opp taka.... we agreed 2 mit at Somerset... cos we sat alrdy ma.. dun wanna get up agn... reachin Somerset.. we called again... tis time.. dey at Taka there... diaox... but it was damn funni lorx... hahhax...

den in de end.. we went our seperate ways.. diaox.. hahax...

Hey... tml startin work le! Yay! no more boring days!! hahax..

*I jux wan a fren.. nt a stead.. u get it?

Sleepless Nights

2004-11-27T20:52:00.000+08:00

I guess de post sch syndrome include insomia barx... cos it seems like some of us ar havin trouble fallin asleep... 2dae went John's place there play bball... den we were discussin wad we do at home... den dean say he hab trouble sleepin... me too!! Lolx.. sianx... dEn me is tink abt loads of tings... tink tink tink.... den... zZz... hahahx...

Hmm... well.. to tink abt it. i haben realli change over... haix... to say de truth.. i dunno how 2 face some pple after so much... i realli wonder.. wil tings change..? Or will life jux go on like tis...? i seem 2 b leadin a meaningless life... wad m i livin 4? 4 a career? 4 de Mr Right? wad? mayb i wil figure out when de clock strikes midnite... Wahahahx...

Mmm... feelin abit unstable.. mayb... tings ar left unsaid... mayb... tings ar jux hangn in mid-air... there ar thousand of times... i lament abt de past.. n sighx... eben till nw... tears stil dropx... I m nt sayin tis 2 gain symphaty.. TATS de last ting i wld do... but i jux wanna let it all out once N 4 all... i still lub each n evryone of dem... eben thou there's *bad blood*... i still... tink abt dem once in awhile... but den.. haix... i noe there's nth 2 b done le la... we hab our own life.. our own grp... i noe i hab a fun grp.. wif 2 jokers... hahax... n so do dey.... yupx...

Well.. jux hab a tok wib ah ma...my ever shin lighthouse... heehx...

N finalli.. My thanks... thx 2 de pple hu ever care 4 me... like.. my dearest couzzie.. ivy.. ah ma *lai yan*.. geraldine.. my shanny... N thx 2 de pple hu ever ~~backstabbed~~ me.. U made me stronger!! thx 2 de frenx hu walked in2 my life b4 N hab wonderful memories wib me... i wun ever forget... N lastly.. thx 2 j3m *s is me.. heehx*.. ur rox my life!!

*Ah.. feel so shu fu.. everytin out le!!

heart pain....

2004-11-25T21:59:00.000+08:00

My heart realli pain sia!! 2dae spent 52 buccks!!! argh!! but den... nbm la.. at least 4 a *good* reason.. cos de 2 shirts & a pink cap tat i bought ar 4 my work de... den oso can b worn 4 CNY... althou its still quite a long way... Lolx...

But 2dae din watch incredibles!! So sad!!! lolx.. hmm.. mayb tml or Mon goin watch... c 1st barx... hahax..but realli realli wanna watch!! hahahx... heard tat it is a realli good film!!

Hmm.. 2dae went from Heeren 2 Far East... wa laox.. Heeren de hats shop hor.. din sell de cap tat i wan! Cos all de behind de gt Mesh de... den me dun wan... hmm.. still remem dat time de 3 of us go try out... erpx.. shall nt mention further.. *sighz*...

Den we went Far East... on de way... walk past de lucky plaza.. saw giordano... den me bought a blue short sleeve shirt... i realli realli like de blue sia.. me mom oso like it.. =p.. heehx... N thx 2 my hubby.. i gt 20% off!! kekex.. thx ar..

Den went 2 Far East N look 4 my red shirt & pink cap... Den me went 2 tis shop.... gt ffunky funky tings de... den de ger realli beri cute.. malay de... den gib me de impression of Asilah.. lolx.. den she say we short hair de wear caps beri nice.. den i nod head... kekex...

Den me at a level 2 shop 4 de shirt.. quite like de cartoon.. kekex... den.. mMm... finalli bought wad i hafta bought... jiu went home le la... shag le sia...

*Argh... i feel so nya nya!! Why????Why does tings turn out tis way?????? Does any1 wan tis 2 happen????? Argh!!!!!!!!!! Fuck it!!!!!!!!!

Grad Nite...

2004-11-25T09:02:00.000+08:00

Yestday was de grad nite... hmm.. overall.. okok la.. but in de beginning.... realli sian diao lorx... pple wore FORMAL lorx... wa biang eh.. dun feel like going in alrdy lorx... Den somemore... lots of tables booked le... den no place 4 us 2 sit... meanin.. me.. birdy & liyi.. den luckily found seats le.. at de back.. wif SheryL*4c* dey all...

Well.. de table de ppLe quite fun lorx.... gt jokes N all... dEn de dinnEr nt bad.... gT abalone!!! Wa lao... so good... den gt Muslim & chi dishes... ya.... or else some of de food dey cant eat ma... Hahax...

Den 2wards de end.... there's Best Dressed awards... hMm... personally... i tink Farid shld win de Best Dressed seh... cos he looked realli handsome! kekex.. lucky he dunno my blog.. kekex... Den Sham won... Cos he gt chest hairs... HAHAHAHX.... den as 4 gers... Shafiqah won... hhaax.. she realli damn hiAo lorx... de emcee oso bEri funni... 4gt his name le... hahax....

Den after de dinner is over... we took photos!! Lotsa photos wor!! hahax.. Nw me voice hoarse le.. Shout too much liao.... wahahahx...

Hmm.. wan watch Incredibles!!! hahax... Mayb later gonna go watch wib j3m5... hehex...

*I realli hate u.... lucky we graduating sia.. I Dun waNna c ur Fucking face EvEr again!!!

I m tanned!!! Happi Bdae Lai yan!!!

2004-11-23T22:14:00.000+08:00

Hehx.. 2dae went Sentosa.. N i gt tanned!! hahax.. althou i gt tanned on Sun.. but nw is eben more tanned... so happi... But hope tat i can get a good figure.. den dare 2 wear bikini... ehehx...

hmm.. 2dae quite fun... can say tat 2dae de grp quite uNited... everitin do 2geder....hahax.. so good!! Den we played captain's ball RITE after lunch.. hiong sia... but fun!!! Lolx... den after de score 7-8.. we were beat.. i feel like puking sia... So uncomfortable... den after tat we took a rest.. den waited 4 Lai nEh dey all 2 cum... Haix.. de sad part is tat we cant seem 2 make de bdae ger happi.. Haiya... hahax... Nbm.. hope she hab fun neh...

Oh Ya... yestday went 2 buy a new hp... gt camera le!! hehex.. so happi... is panasonic de... heehx.. bUt after i worked... mux pay back my mummy.... nBm... i luv de phone.. =p.. heehx..

Hmm... tml jiu grad nite le... wonder wad everybody is wearin... hehx...

K la.. me go zZz le.. tml still nida go sch early!! Sianx sia..

*Langer say i pretty!! Lolx.. Lamio me

Sad Sad

2004-11-21T21:06:00.000+08:00

Poor ah boy.... yestday he cum my hse stay... den jux nw me bro hab 2 stuff it in a box b4 carryin it back 2 de camp... even thou my bro's shoutin it at de top of his lungs... i can tell tat it pained him alot... den he oso hab 2 secure de box wib scotch tape.. so poor ting sia.. den its head kip poppin out.. den me & my younger bro hab 2 push his head dwn while my bro is tyin de box... pain my heart sia... den me almost cry... but den me held back lorx... *sad sad*...

Den me found a job le... yupx... hahax.. me dun wan say here abt de details la.. *pai seh*... hahax... if wan noe jux ask me kiex? hahhax...

b4 tat... me & jing xiang go cck stadium swim... den gt realli tanned!! So happi!!den nw quite red... me cheeks oso.. hehex... den at there... saw lots of shuai ges!!!

hahax... so tired.... but so happi!! me gt job le!!

*argh.... so tired of everitin!!! Dunno wad 2 wear!!!

Orchardthon

2004-11-20T21:03:00.000+08:00

2dae walked de whole of Orchard.. From Far East to Plaza Singapura... hahax...Legs *sour* sia... hahahax..Wib mummy, joan & birdy den at Far east... me bought a handbag... like it Sooooo much sia... no brand de.. but de material beri nice... i like it.. waterproof somemore... hahahx...

Den so fun sia... wib mummy & joan.. hahax.. being entertained... den we took neos... so nice... heehx... Hmm... den we looked out 4 clothes 2 wear 4 Grad Nite... me & mummy agar agar noe wad 2 wear le... hahx... Shhhhh.. hahhx... siaox...

Den arnd 3... we quite hungr & tired... so went 2 Coffee bean at de John Little there rest our legs... den we ordered Mocha.. xcept joan... hu ordered Sunrise... Nice leix.. hahax... so fruity.. den we walked all de way 2 Plaza Singapura... hahax... den we sang along de way... cos behind & in front no pple.. den we considered formin a band.... hahx... since we gt de name for ourselves le... y not? hahhax.. den we deciding 2 record our song... use bird's digital cam as recorder... Cool!! hahax...

2dae realli so relaxed... den at Taka gt watch Street performance... So ShiOk!!!!!!!!!! Realli... dey use drums.. tamberines... wa laox.. so *jing bao* sia... hahax...

Hmm... wonder if Wild Wild Wet gt ani jobs availavble... hahhax.... *Thx Joce!*.. hahahx.. but dun tink dey wan temporary workers la.. hahax..

Last pAper

2004-11-19T22:36:00.000+08:00

Woo Hoo!!! Its over!! Over!! Nada!! Zilch! Zero!! Over!!! GAME OVER!!! hahhax...

jux went 4 a pig out at Pizza hut... so cool.. 13 pple go makan.. dEn after de pig out.. we played Secret Number.. nt fun de... bUt den when its my turn 2 gif no... hahahx... den when its jinlin's turn.... I stared at her... den she realli stun dio.. den i gif de range.. Den dey all luff.. hahahx... den tat elson & jason damn funni.. kip makin me & bird luff like mad... esp de gun tingy... hahahx...

Den... after tat went home... Hmm.. stil find it unbelievable tat its reallli realli realli over.. Shockin sia... Hmm... *shakes head*... hahax... Oh well.. i wil come 2 terms wib it de.. hhahax...

Yea.. gonna go out everyday startin from tml... but nida rest 1st.. hahax..

Oh ya.. me findin job...hhax.. i wan a job dat is in de sun all day... good pay... N fun!! hahax... gt lobang call me!! hahahx..

K la.. me go charge le.. low batt liaox...

ONE MORE DAY!!!!!!!!!

2004-11-18T13:58:00.000+08:00

Oh my god.. I cant believe it!!!!!!! 3 weeks!! Jux went by!!! OhMeGoodness!!!!!! Hahx.. So happi 2dae sia... hahahx...

2dae hab A-maths paper.. Mmm.. oK oK lorx... realli hope can get an A!! yEa!! hahax... dEn tmL is Chem & Chem... hahx..Lame... Is papers 1 & 2 la... dennnnnnnnnnnnnnnn??? PLAY la!!!!!!!!! hahahax..... Hmm... but den my crabber like sianx sianx lidat!! Canot Crabber!! Mux b like crabbie!! ENTHU!!! hahax.. me realli siao liaox... tml still gt paper.. but nw like so happi lidat... Idiot me... =x.. hahax...

Haix... nw 4 de abit sad part... We are gonna fen kai le.... Hmm... But i gt confidence.. We will get 2geder de.. Rite??? hahahax... Hmm.. nw realli a period of idiotness... Dunno alot of tings.. hahx.. I m so nt gonna tink abt these tings!! N-O No!! hahax...i dun wan 2 get crabby & moody!! Mus kip my spirits up!!! Yes!!!

hahax.. 2dae sat in fj N tok abt where 2 go nxt week.. so fun... hahahx... goin Sentosa... orchard.. wild wild wet*mux go!!!!!*... go Grad nite... den fri is........ REST DAY!!! hahax.. so funni.. pin in say de.. hahahax...

K la.. me go study CHEM le... Everybody...Lets Finish tis last race!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Chiong Ar!!!

My Future is blur....

2004-11-14T11:53:00.000+08:00

Yestday hab a chat wib my beloved mummy... Abt where i wanna go after exams... The good ting abt tis is tat... She realli cares abt ME... N nt like some parents... onli care abt de prestigious schs.... Wad b a doc.. MUX go jc no matter wad... i told her i wanna go poly.. N we weighed de pros n de cons... den she say... But den.. nowadays... A university cert i beri impt... den i say... i try lor.... if i can go.. i go la.. if cant.. den me earn enuf $$... den go abroad study.... She seems quite supportive after we toked abt gor gor... He repeated 1 yr in jjc ma... den i tel her.. i beri slow paced de... nt as clever as gor... n she agrees lorx...

If i enter jc.. 1 yr later... i gonna prepare 4 As le... N wad if i fail? My future is gonna b bleak le lorx... I rather mug hard in poly... finish modules by modules... SLOWLY... ya.. i m a slowpoke... tats y i dun wan my life 2 b so damn fast-paced... like bullet train... Somemore.. If i can go poly... I can join de Swimming team....? I realli wanna fulfil my new found dream.. 2 b de 1st female swimming coach in S'p.... or if i nt too bad... Can b a lifeguard too... hehx.. den can c beachboys everiday... Mayb can eben get de chance 2 save dem...? heehx... *TinK too much*... hehex...

Den me dad nt supportive... wan me go jc... he say.. Eben until work i still face Stress... there's no diff... i dun wanna tok 2 him abt tis issue le lor.. He jux dun understand... Nt like mummy... hahahx... Den she eben joked yestday.. abt de nursing course... 4get wad we joked abt la... hmm.. but den.. i realli wanna get 10 points... hhaa... silly me rite?

But after so much tots.. i still unsure wad i realli wanna study... Haix.. C 1st la... Mayb i cant eben get in2 a jc sia...

*Feel tat my future.. is a blur....

Oh No!!

2004-11-13T11:27:00.000+08:00

Damn slack... oh no.. hmm... yestday finished de phy chapters Ms phua taught... Haben start Geog... Haben revised Chem... Oh No~~~~ i m startin 2 sound more N more like Shao Zhe le... Lolx..

Hmm.. Yestday watched de Ren Wo Ao You liao... feel quite sad... YiLin & kaixin's friendship damn fragile... made me tink back 2 me leix.. hmm... its like.... everiting's beginning N end is nt clear.... Is nt agreed upon... i noe ur wil say... Aiya.. Wait until after exams la... But tink abt it la... hu carex abt anitin after tat damn exams?? Hahax...

Dunno la... Dun wan 2 start anitin again....

Hmm... wanna go swim later de neh... But den gt tuit.... so sad.. i miss de waters liao... After exam i wan go work.... Hmm... as wad neh?? i can b a waitress... go work in a cafe... hmm... but dunno if dey wan me 4 a mth onli anot... hahahax... Idiot me.. hahax...

K la.. dun wanna tink so much le!!!!!!!!! heehx.. go mug liaox.. Ciao!!!

*If there is fate... i m sure we will mit again...

Tanned le worx!

2004-11-11T17:52:00.000+08:00

Hey frenx.. thx 4 taggin.. Well.. i m findin my way out le.. Yupx... N quite shocked when i saw some1's msg.. ya..

Tis mornin went 4 a swim... wib derrick... at arnd 11.. den me swim non-stop.. like marathon lidat.. touch de wall N dash off again... So shiok... den half an hr later jiu no breath & energy le.. Den jiu sat on de chairs.. N SUN TAN... hahax... So relaxin... Nv knew de sun could b so relaxin sia...Jux let de Sun beat dwn on me shoulders... My body.. Den me closed my eyes.. n relax... hahax.. so shiok... Den arnd 12 jiu get up le.. wanna watch Mei Li Zai Wang de... but daddy wan go makan le..

So we went Harbour City Restaurant eat.. eat Dim Sum... wa laox.. long time no family gathering le leix.. every Sun me parents stil nida work... So sianx.. den me gt tuit.. Den me elder bro either go out or at camp.. Den beri nan de we gt such a family gathering lorx.. Ya.. feel so happi.. Den eat N eat N eat... hahax... ke lian de mummy... stomach nt good.. dEn din eat much... poor ting..

Den went strt home after tat.. N i watched TV.. Until Mei Li Zai Wang screen again.. wad a nice show... teach me nt 2 b despondent.... Mux get up if i ever fall... Ya... So no more contradictions... De new me will be alive once again.. I will nt care wad others tink of me.. As long as i m happi... Hu carex abt dem?? 2 hell wib dem... Yupx... i will be carefree... n HeiPi... hahax.. Yes.. De Sandy Is back... Wib more punctuations... Wib more vigour.... hahax....

*No more rainy days 4 me.. There will onli b sun.. Study hard...!

Bio Sux

2004-11-10T20:10:00.000+08:00

Wa laox.. 2dae de paper damn sucky sia... dun wanna tok abt it le.. haahx.. 1st time gt pple say THERE'S A MISTAKE!!! Hahax.. idiot sia..

Haix.. dunno y... feel so sad... althou when i c pple luff & smile i will brighten up de...but dunno y.. 2dae.. wben after seeing YinG siEw & gang luffin like mad.... I cant seem 2 cheer myself up... haix.. wads wrong wib me...?

Mayb bcos.. i dunno wad i wanna do in future? Or bcos i m movin hse? Or mayb.. there's tis voice inside me... tellin me some tings i dun wanna hear...? I dunno... haix... abt movin hse.. me mom lookin 4 one.. In de past.. i kip tellin my mom.. Mummy.. Move hse leix.. tis hse too small le... i wan a bedroom of my own... Den nw.. mayb cos i finalli hab a study room tat look like study room? i dun feel like leavin... i wanna go dwnstairs N swim.. i wan go dwn N jog on de treadmill.. I wan.. I wan my small but cosy bedroom... haix.. Y ar there so mani changes tat ar happenin at once?

I suddenli feel like some unwanted rag... my dad onli care abt his soccer matches... my mom onli care abt brngin my younger bro in2 a good man... My elder bro? ha.. we dun tok... onli toked recently abt Ah *BoY*.. Den my frenx arnd me... I dun realli wan dem 2 noe wads on my mind.. wad my heart is sayin... hahax.. Ya.. mayb some of ur tink.. Since u write tis entry is = to dem seing N knowin rite? Well.. but did it occur 2 ur dat sometimes... My smile..... Is nt realli a smile? haix... i dunno wads wrong.. i jux hope tat i can walk out of tis darkness alone... No one can help me.. I gotta help myself....

Mayb i jux nid a shoulder to lean on... ya.. but i m nt despo.. i dun wan a replica of wad happened 2 yrs ago... haix.. sad sia...

Nw.. i jux wanna b happy once again... But somehow.. i noe dat i hab changed.... i cant find her back.. Can ur?

End Of Emaths

2004-11-08T13:53:00.000+08:00

Yes... finally.. 3 subj over le... Eng.. Ss... Emaths.. nw left Amaths.. Bio.. Chem.. Phy.. Geog.. hahax.. nvm... will gambatae de!! hahahx..

Hmm.. gt several outings comin up... tryin 2 convince my parents 2 let me go 2 de genting... Long time nv go le.. las time i went was when i was .... pri 2? hahax.. = haben go b4.. no recollections lorx.. onli remem me came back sick.. hahax...

Den.. nowadays loads of GREAT movies comin up!! I wan watch Princess Diaries 2!!!!! Argh.... but cant go.. N i dun itnk anybody wanna go watch wib me.. Cos most haben eben watch de 1st part.. hahax...nbm... Den still gt Sharks Tale.. Polar Express... Hmm.. Still gt de Ladder 49.. wanna watch sia.. althou some say quite scary.. hhax...

Well.. gonna go study bio le...

Oh.. Btw.. Ah boy go back forest le.. so sad... miss its whines & cries... haix.. N surprisingly.. its nt a he... Its a she... hahax...

*Dunno wads wrong wib me.. Cant conc on anitin...

ah boy..

2004-11-05T15:48:00.000+08:00

there's a cuutttteeeee ting sittin on de floor.... hahax.... my bro brought home ah boy... its a puppy.... so cute sia... its white... wif a few patches of black... so cute!!! hahax... love at 1st sight sia... its sleepin nw..

Den jux nw.. it came out of its box... den it walk walk... den we gave it pig's liver.... N water.. den it urinated in our lobby...Lolx.. den me bro clean it up... its realli de cutest cutest ting ting e whole wide world seh... Jux hope tat my dear mummy will approve it... heehx.. But de chance is like........ 10%??? hahax...

Well... 2dae's Aaths paper nt bad... i left 1/2 hr 2 check... but dunno correct anot... Den ang moh oso okok... de emaths i sure a lot of careless de... hahax... Nbm... paper 2 mux work hard...

2dae realli feel like Os finish le... so happi.. still can go shoppin.... hahax.. hmm.. 2dae gt 1 nei mu.. hahax.. but dun realli blif it.. ya...

Jux nw gt a guy frm friendster... I DUNNO HU DE HELL DE GUY is.. N his msg was.... I lookin 4 a gf... can u gab me a chance..... So damn despo sia!!!!!! hahax.... Dun bother abt him... i tink he sent tis 2 loads of gals.. hahax...

Well... go play wib ah boy le... Ciao!!

Start Of Os

2004-11-02T11:52:00.000+08:00

My couzzie so damn cute sia.... msg me at abt 6.25.... Yox Yox Yox!!Sanz!! Wake up alrdy? Or still slping... diao... i c de msg liaox... woke up immediately... hahx... den i rply... Gonna wake up soon.. N she replied.. So i gathered u stil inm bed la... i jux love tormenting u!! Muahahahax... hahax.. den i say.. idiot.. to myself la.. N got off bed....

Well.. 2dae is nt too bad... still noe how22 do.. hahax... But de prob lies in de idiot source based.... abit scared gonna fail.. hahax... nono.. mux hab faith in myself... Wel.. 2ml is ang moh le... gonna do loads of compre pessages!!!

Hmm... jux online to update... heehx.. good luck to all!!!

Disappointed

2004-10-29T18:56:00.000+08:00

I never knew.... dey wld carry tis so far... i noe dey ~~hate~~ her.. but den... arent dey being too mean? i cant blif dey wld do tis kinda tings... in front of her somemore.... i realli feeel so disappointed... i nv nv knew... dey wld treat pple tis way...

Oh well.. dun tok abt it le.. spoils my mood sia...

2dae... gt a farewell ceremony 4 our dear Mrs Bibiana Clark... hahax... touchin sia... N some cried... hahax... N when she shook our hands.. i can c her red eyes.... oh man.... so... wen xin sia... hahax... N i feel so... Honoured? hahax.. cos we all like... pass out 2geder... But!!! My DeAR Mrs yip oso going!!! Ohme goodness!!!!! How can lidat?? Boohoo.... nt good!!!

Den 2dae after sch.. took loads of photos... realli damn cool... hahax... like de 4D gers so much sia... hmmm... being wib dem nt bad... alot of fun tings 2 do de... hahax... den we gt loads of poses... gt shoes de... gt heads 2geder de...gt pyramid de.... Den gt NUMBERS de!!! hahahahax... Nw Bird sendin... den later i paste online... Put in friendster after Os... heehehx....

Well... No more online 4 me le... Gonna work hard le.... Everybody... Let's Gambatae 2geder!!!

*jems is so cool...

A thousand words

2004-10-27T22:44:00.000+08:00

A thousand words left unsaid...
A heart left broken...
A million feelings broke thru and dissappeared
A shattered soul.. taken...

A cruel life... A cruel destiny...
When will she ever learn...
Tat to love is not to be loved...
But to be able to care & concern..?

Once upon a time...
Stories like this...
Have long been forgotten...
But... she still hab tis hope in her heart...

A hope tat... One day...
She might be able...
To find true love..
One day...

But... heaven is never good to her..
She lost the trust she hab giben..
To de pple arnd her..
To de guy.. whom she loved...

She did nt noe wad might happen...
Until one day...
She found out sth tat make her ponder...
Makes her wonder..

A cruel life... Bestowed on a strong ger....

-SaN-

Phy Pract

2004-10-26T22:50:00.000+08:00

Haix.... dunno how 2 say.... jux feel tat i realli suck at practicals... idiotic me.... nvm.. me go slp le..

take carex everyone..

Haix.. feel so sad..